smallcow4rd
New Member
- Dec 20, 2025
- 1
the title, I have friends, I have family
but I hate myself since I was in elementary, I've tried to CTB at 8 years old (very badly executed) due to bullying and when I was 16 because I was failing my classes and my father and brother ignored me for one week, I tried to overdose and my survival instinct kicked, I now dont know what to do.
I laugh at times, my family loves me. My father, I love him, but I always walk on eggshells around him.
I have no idea how to explain myself, but I'm planing a date. Push everyone aside and do it. I love them but i'm so fucking tired of being me, so tired.
I am embarassed of myself, I type on groupchats of online friends and I just feel embarassed and I know they must be sick and tired of me.
My best friends IRL have their own lives, I love them but I'm sick of myself. I feel like a loser, everybody in my family treats me like a baby and those who support me cannot reach, nobody really understands.
I must sound like a fucking privileged crybaby and I hate that about myself too. Even so, I like to think I have morals and I'm smart, but I talk to anybody older than me and I inmediately feel like a worthless retard.
Im a trapped man, everyone is better than me and when I step out of my house I can see the weird stares from pretty guys and gals.
Love my friends, love humor, love music, love art.
But I cannot stand myself.
English is not my main language so all this makes zero sense, just trying to vomit all I can without giving much detail.
Tell me im dumb on the responses even if I know that already
but I hate myself since I was in elementary, I've tried to CTB at 8 years old (very badly executed) due to bullying and when I was 16 because I was failing my classes and my father and brother ignored me for one week, I tried to overdose and my survival instinct kicked, I now dont know what to do.
I laugh at times, my family loves me. My father, I love him, but I always walk on eggshells around him.
I have no idea how to explain myself, but I'm planing a date. Push everyone aside and do it. I love them but i'm so fucking tired of being me, so tired.
I am embarassed of myself, I type on groupchats of online friends and I just feel embarassed and I know they must be sick and tired of me.
My best friends IRL have their own lives, I love them but I'm sick of myself. I feel like a loser, everybody in my family treats me like a baby and those who support me cannot reach, nobody really understands.
I must sound like a fucking privileged crybaby and I hate that about myself too. Even so, I like to think I have morals and I'm smart, but I talk to anybody older than me and I inmediately feel like a worthless retard.
Im a trapped man, everyone is better than me and when I step out of my house I can see the weird stares from pretty guys and gals.
Love my friends, love humor, love music, love art.
But I cannot stand myself.
English is not my main language so all this makes zero sense, just trying to vomit all I can without giving much detail.
Tell me im dumb on the responses even if I know that already
