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Note your level of mental distress now
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10/10. I wish I could shut my brain off for good. I wish I could stop having thoughts. I just want my brain to shut the fuck up. A bullet to the head would be nice about now
7/10. I have a cold and can't breathe out my nose: I'm irritable and have been snapping at my toddler at lot recently, and I hate myself for that; my husband has completely checked out and has been on the one Fortnite mode with his gaming friends for the past about 50 out of 64 waking hours in the past four days (although if I had me as a wife, I'd check the fuck out too); I had to work a bit yesterday and this afternoon despite allegedly being off, and I'm dreading work on Friday because I already have a million things to do on this to do list; it's cold and I hate the cold.
was a 8/10 earlier today. things got rough between me and my boyfriend on call, argument's the same as usual. i'm a bit better now but still kinda beating myself over it.
i don't deserve forgiveness, i really don't. all i do is throw a tantrum over petty shit and back out like i'm innocent at the very last moment. i should just cut myself each time it happens because i only deserve pain, not a whole bucket of chances. i don't deserve any mercy at all, nor any sort of kindness, only pain.
8/10, based off of the suicide scale comic lol. Maybe an 8.5 depending on how you look at it.
I'm at a point where I'm constantly thinking about it. But I plan to CTB in 5-6 months so I don't think I'm in the "active" planning phase yet (a true 9), just slowly setting things in motion/wrapping things up. Emptiness and distress are my default states now haha and I'm a little sick of it
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GarGoil, OnMyLast Legs, nendn and 1 other person
@starsfirstlight yeah 8 or 9. The more time I have away from my job the better I feel. Also I shouldn't jack up my anxiety with coffee so much. If I could just NEET for a while I think I might be able to fix myself.
I feel like there's two levels, there's the general terror and misery i always feel from trauma (10/10) and then like other distress on top of it (3/10)? but im always bad... always... it's just i've gotten learned helplessness with the background terror
7/10. I have a cold and can't breathe out my nose: I'm irritable and have been snapping at my toddler at lot recently, and I hate myself for that; my husband has completely checked out and has been on the one Fortnite mode with his gaming friends for the past about 50 out of 64 waking hours in the past four days (although if I had me as a wife, I'd check the fuck out too); I had to work a bit yesterday and this afternoon despite allegedly being off, and I'm dreading work on Friday because I already have a million things to do on this to do list; it's cold and I hate the cold.
Down to about a 4/10. Still sick, beyond exhausted, still hate myself, but had some decent moments with family today. And too tired to be more distressed.
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