note vs. video

[redpaint]

which method of saying goodbye is generally preferred?
i feel as though a note can be more structured and planned out - errors are easily fixable. but a video could include a lot more and also includes your voice/face. let me know your thoughts.

 

[PreCambrianBliss]

Imo videos seem like they would come across as a bit disturbing. Seeing someone talk about their own death is a little too "real"

 

[Enlighten]

I agree with PreCambrian. A video like that would be a tough watch for friends and family afterwards. And like you said: With writing you have the time to think this through and really word them in a way you want to.

 

[Foreverix]

Honestly, I'm not sure either one would be that helpful or comforting. But writing a note will be easier. I tried recording a voice note for my parents once, and I ended up rerecording it SO many times. It was very hard to contain my thoughts, and I didn't even have much of an explanation. A lot of it just turned into rambling.

Recording a video won't help your loved ones at all. If you seem calm and blunt, it will feel like a slap in the face. If you seem scared and/or emotional, they will feel guilty and just as helpless.

 

[PreCambrianBliss]

It was very hard to contain my thoughts, and I didn't even have much of an explanation. A lot of it just turned into rambling.

I know this all too well, I have a document with over 50 pages of pointless suicidal rambling. What I've learned is that it's nearly impossible to articulate the conditions of your death. Best to set all that aside stick to what really matters. Write something that will let your family move on

 

[Foreverix]

Best to set all that aside stick to what really matters. Write something that will let your family move on

Even that's no short order. I think the reality is that they never will really move on, just forward.

I guess if you write anything, just write how you feel in that moment and whatever comes to mind regarding those you love. But don't use it as a means to give some big explanation, or try to answer what you think their questions will be. That's the big thing I struggled with.