Venting Not depression but something else

[Mycelium]

I don't know if anyone else has this problem but I am suicidal. Not because I don't want to live, I want to but I am scared of the hardships and life in general that I think for me dying would be better than being alive because I know I can't handle these hardships in a way that won't fuck with my head for a long while. And it's so weird because I have depression and all my friends do too but they don't want to live anymore and I can't relate to them because of this even tho I still love them but it's soo weird and idk. Help?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Are you struggling right now with problems you feel you can't solve? Or- is it more that you're anticipating how hard life will be in the future? If it's the latter- do you think you tend to catastrophize? Are the things you worry about as bad when you are actually facing them? If that's the case- I'd suggest to just try and get through life day by day. None of us really know what's ahead. Maybe your life will be difficult- but maybe you'll be able to cope with it. Maybe you won't. At the moment, it seems like you just don't know. Point is- CTB will still be there at a later date. If you still have any desire to live now- you could just keep going for now- and see where you end up? I suppose the 'beauty' of CTB for me is that it has always felt like a viable option for me. It's something I've long felt I could do if things became too much. I wish you all the best.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that wanting suicide is a perfectly logical response to existing here rather than being an "illness", the way that I see it, if someone has a lot of dread and they fear existing here then it can make sense wishing to be free from existence. Feeling trapped in this random and chaotic world where there is unlimited potential to suffer really is so awful and tiring.