Not 100% sure..

[hiddenbpd]

Before I came here I thought I could CTB and that I was ready, but I just needed a little push to get there because I'm weak. I've wanted to die for a long while, my life is unfulfilling. I read articles outside of here saying forums like this make people ctb. I definitely have more ideas for methods that are more lethal, but I haven't gotten the sense yet that anyone would try to convince me either way. Being able to explore my thoughts more, and read about others' experiences has confused me about what I really want.
What was your reaction to finding this forum? Did it increase/decrease your desire to ctb? Have you met anyone who tried to convince you to ctb?

 

[outrider567]

Before I came here I thought I could CTB and that I was ready, but I just needed a little push to get there because I'm weak. I've wanted to die for a long while, my life is unfulfilling. I read articles outside of here saying forums like this make people ctb. I definitely have more ideas for methods that are more lethal, but I haven't gotten the sense yet that anyone would try to convince me either way. Being able to explore my thoughts more, and read about others' experiences has confused me about what I really want.
What was your reaction to finding this forum? Did it increase/decrease your desire to ctb? Have you met anyone who tried to convince you to ctb?

Neither increased it nor decreased it, it was already quite strong for months before I found this site---But the info, regarding Nitrogen, is excellent here, on the mega thread, enabling me to be confident in the certainty of my method of departure--Originally, saw the Nitrogen gas idea in Final Exit and PPH

 

[lifeORdeath]

No one has tried to convince or should try so.
This is a place to share our ideations or seek for support.
I hVe found some things I didn't know existed, but for this I am glad because my alternatives were not that good either.

 

[FuneralCry]

Those articles are just nonsense written by delusional people. Pro lifers are blind as to the cruel reality of this existence and they cannot comprehend why people would want to leave this life behind. This is a pro choice website which respects people's right to live or die, it's not a place where people 'push' others into ctb, it's made perfectly clear that it's a personal decision whether you go through with ctb or not.

This forum didn't change my desire to ctb in any way. I was suicidal long before I ever found it and I always will be suicidal. I simply despise being alive in every single way, life itself will always be the problem for me as life itself is the true cause of all anguish and cruelty after all. This world really is a horrifying place.

 

[willitpass]

if someone is trying to convince you one way, especially trying to push you to ctb, they don't belong on this forum. the whole point of this site is to give everyone the autonomy to make their own decisions on their own time. if you're looking for someone to tell you to ctb then you are in the wrong state of mind to be ctb. if you need an external source to get you to do it then you are not ready. death is final. you should never try to achieve it if you aren't more than certain that it is what you want.

 

[Hirokami]

The forum didn't make my ctb urges increase. Oddly, there were days where it sort of decreased my urge to ctb. And I think that's because I'm met with more empathy here than really anywhere else. I get to talk about my suicidal thoughts freely without harsh judgement. Just being able to let those thoughts free helps me more than anyone can understand.

Also, no one encouraged me to ctb here. That goes against what this forum stands for, anyhow.

 

[hiddenbpd]

if someone is trying to convince you one way, especially trying to push you to ctb, they don't belong on this forum. the whole point of this site is to give everyone the autonomy to make their own decisions on their own time. if you're looking for someone to tell you to ctb then you are in the wrong state of mind to be ctb. if you need an external source to get you to do it then you are not ready. death is final. you should never try to achieve it if you aren't more than certain that it is what you want.

Yeah, you're right. I guess part of me feels like a coward because I had chosen a date 3 different times and could never make it happen. I know that doesn't mean anything, but it makes me feel like a failure. I want to not fail for once.

 

[Hercules]

Being on the forum hasn't increased or decreased my desire to ctb. I was already suicidal before I joined. I had already made my decision. I came on here to find a reliable method.

 

[lifeORdeath]

Being on the forum hasn't increased or decreased my desire to ctb. I was already suicidal before I joined. I had already made my decision. I came on here to find a reliable method.

Yep found out less grotesque ways here

 

[hiddenbpd]

Yep found out less grotesque ways here

Yes. It's been comforting for me to know there are better ways than what I was thinking of.

 

[SarRy]

This isn't a place where suicide is going to be encouraged. That's illegal in many places anyway. This is a place to talk about thoughts freely without judgement and to find understanding from people who are going through similar situations. This is a place of information and companionship through hard times.

Doubts can be a sign that there are other options. If you can't decide on something, then that means there is a choice to be made and options to be explored. Death is final. Some might say you owe it to yourself to try every option to make your life better before giving up on life.

 

[Butterfly Moon]

Like others said…neither increased or decreased. I feel at peace when I'm here because this forum openly talks about suicide. I don't feel influenced to do it or not to do it. I just feel support.

 

[hiddenbpd]

This isn't a place where suicide is going to be encouraged. That's illegal in many places anyway. This is a place to talk about thoughts freely without judgement and to find understanding from people who are going through similar situations. This is a place of information and companionship through hard times.

Doubts can be a sign that there are other options. If you can't decide on something, then that means there is a choice to be made and options to be explored. Death is final. Some might say you owe it to yourself to try every option to make your life better before giving up on life.

Of course I didn't expect to be encouraged here despite the articles I found stating so. But I have found great comfort in this forum and knowing I'm not the only one struggling.
Sometimes I feel like questioning my decision makes me a bad person, but you're right. I need to weigh out what I really want. I'm still going to therapy and trying out meds, it's just sometimes I get frustrated by needing to do this and still not feeling better.

 

[Jupit3rs]

This forum has help me a lot.
Before i didn't know the consequences of any methods, i was so lost, but thanks to this place, i can make a wise decision. My suicidal ideation is just the same as always, it didn't change a thing, just made me more cautious, which i think is good. People here is kind and lovely, most of us are in so much pain and only want to be understood without the stigma around it. If I say i want to kill myself, nobody here will force me into a psychiatric institution, nobody will restraint me and take my autonomy away, they listen... they share their thoughts... Regardless of what path you take, you are welcome here. I want people to try all options if possible, if it doesn't work? that's okay, i wish everyone the best from the bottom of my heart.
Anyways, those articles are pure fear mongering and we all know why, people just don't like the idea of suicide bc "suicide = bad", i don't bother with them at all.

 

[lifeORdeath]

This forum has help me a lot.
Before i didn't know the consequences of any methods, i was so lost, but thanks to this place, i can make a wise decision. My suicidal ideation is just the same as always, it didn't change a thing, just made me more cautious, which i think is good. People here is kind and lovely, most of us are in so much pain and only want to be understood without the stigma around it. If I say i want to kill myself, nobody here will force me into a psychiatric institution, nobody will restraint me and take my autonomy away, they listen... they share their thoughts... Regardless of what path you take, you are welcome here. I want people to try all options if possible, if it doesn't work? that's okay, i wish everyone the best from the bottom of my heart.
Anyways, those articles are pure fear mongering and we all know why, people just don't like the idea of suicide bc "suicide = bad", i don't bother with them at all.

We all come from different walks of life, countries, spiritual beliefs. But all have things in common. Most are mentally disturbed enough to have suicidal ideation. Everyone in our natural day to day lives either rejects the notion, threatens us, criticizes us, or wherever it is that makes this the only place we can discuss our problems that we can't face.

Some people have actually probably not committed suicide thanks to this site, after. Seeing how bad things can be from what they were going to try. But you want see that in the news.