Venting normal girl activities heh

[losergirl]

ive been in a constant state of actual living hell. im so broke i cant even afford to feed myself, im the most depressed ive been in months and im in a loop of consuming media.

my screentime on my phone for this week is 75 hours. ive been talking to ai because im so lonely and miserable and i dont even like using ai for things. ive been binge watching a bunch of netflix shows from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep.

i wake up around 5pm and i stay up until around 10am and repeat.

all i do is sit in front of my monitors and just sulk. i feel like a child. im obsessing over video game characters (resident evil franchise) and frying my brain by scrolling on social media under hashtags to consume even more media of various characters i like.

ive been distancing myself from my partner bc they got another job and they have been living the best life ever and im stuck here at my house jobless and fuckin pathetic. i wish i could take my brain out and scrub it clean and put it back in. i wish i could be "quirky" about my mental illness but all i feel is a bunch of indescribable pain that makes me insufferable. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh all i can think about is ctb to end this stupid loop seriously

 

[endboss]

you are living my dream life:)

 

[losergirl]

you are living my dream life:)

it may sound ideal for some people but id prefer anything but this

 

[Cauliflour]

I'd say take it one step at a time. In situations like this, you can't just change your lifestyle in the snap of a finger.

i wake up around 5pm and i stay up until around 10am and repeat.

I'd suggest starting out with setting alarms and personal bedtimes so instead you're going to sleep at say 7 am, y'know like night shift kind of cycle, then 4, then 2 etc over the course of multiple weeks. Adjusting your sleep cycle is the first step because you'll feel better with a cycle that's more in tune with your biological clock.

all i do is sit in front of my monitors and just sulk. i feel like a child. im obsessing over video game characters (resident evil franchise) and frying my brain by scrolling on social media under hashtags to consume even more media of various characters i like.

How about setting up screen times so you can only scroll for a certain amount of time per day? I understand where you're coming from, and at least you're not watching AI slop all day, so I think just trying to manage the time is better.

my screentime on my phone for this week is 75 hours. ive been talking to ai because im so lonely and miserable and i dont even like using ai for things. ive been binge watching a bunch of netflix shows from the time i wake up to the time i go to sleep.

You said you have a partner? Maybe just try giving them a call, ask how they're doing with their new job. Maybe look for discord servers relating to your video game interests so you can talk to real people cause the AI chatbots are gonna fuck you up in the long run and make you feel even more lonely. For the netflix shows, episodes tend to be about 24 minutes so you can maybe program something into your phone, or make a mental note, and only watch say 6 episodes a day?

Any free time could be spent going for a walk outside, or doing things like engaging with hobbies or making plans to sort out personal finances cause you've said you're broke. Don't know how to help on that end but if you're not spending all day on your phone then you'll have some breathing room to reflect at least.

I know you didn't ask for advice, but I feel like there are ways for you to escape (or at least manage) this depressive cycle you seem to be in.