None of this is worth it

[burninghill]

I don't even know why I've let myself go on for this long. I feel like I'm gonna be sick. Everything feels so wrong and my entire being just feels heavy and dragging. I don't see the point in any of this at all.

I have everything I've ever wanted, I'm in the best place possible right now in terms of my life in general. I have good friends, a boyfriend, a potential future as an artist. I'm never satisfied with anything. I could have everything and I'd still be depressed. For fucks sake why can't I just be grateful.

I'm going to kill myself soon, I'm going to Decide if I want to have sex with my boyfriend first or not and then do it. Maybe I'll do some DPH At the same time. I have to die soon.