Venting none of it

[serah]

matters. it's all useless. nobody cares. maybe i deserve all the suffering i've gone through. maybe i am a terrible person. i am such a defect. my mind is a prison that reminds me nothing changes and the pain is the only thing thats followed me and been loyal to me. the loneliness and desire to fall asleep without waking up never leave. i still find myself just as tired of looking at what i see in the mirror. i hate my voice. i hate my thoughts. i hate my mind. i resent my younger self for not ctbing when i had the chance. think ive grown to become too much of a coward to face anything at this point. i just want to rot away. self destruction is so addictive. but theres something comforting about being reaffirmed what ive always known. everybody leaves. nobody puts up with others if its drains them too much. im a defect human, i feel like a parasite that latches unto others for a sense of purpose. its so exhausting. im all alone. im all apart. im nobody when im all alone. just a constant strain of negative thoughts im unable to shut down.

 

[.idiot]

What do you think you did that earned you this suffering you are going through. that makes you a terrible person, and is it possible to correct said actions that supposedly earned you this pain? And who, so far, do you think you have made leave by "draining them too much"?