No one has faith in me anymore

[bl33ding_heart]

All of the people I know that are aware of my borderline personality disorder and mental state have lost faith in me, and have for a while now. At first they genuinely believed I could get better, and so did I. And looking back on it, they only had a sense of hope for me because they weren't fully aware of the symptoms of my bpd and how they affected me. But once they witnessed that for themselves and became aware they immediately just lost faith in me. They started to see me as a lost cause rather than a suffering person that desperately needed help. And while having people that believe in me won't automatically cure my suicidality. Because I was still suicidal when I was lucky enough to have that. It would at least make me more hopeful and encourage me to try and get better, even by just a little bit. But no one wants to believe in me anymore, or even care. I talked to this friend I've had for almost 2 years now about my bpd. And all he said was "I'm sorry but I don't care about understanding your bpd, I'm too busy and have bigger problems". And he isn't obliged to be there for me but it seriously felt like a stab in the heart, especially since I've helped him out significantly in the past. Even at times when I seriously didn't have the energy to do so. It just feels so shitty knowing no one wants to be there for me or even have a little faith in me. But maybe they are right and I truly am nothing more than a lost cause.

 

[peacebenow]

When people don't know how to help they often distance themselves and when they feel overwhelmed by the suffering. When they realize that it is a long term thing and there is no easy solution or cure it can be very hard for people to stick around and keep up the encouragement. They may have faith in you but just don't show it when you feel you need it. It can become more you relying on yourself to keep your own faith in yourself. Your friend's response sounds like they are unable to handle anything else in their life at the moment. It may not mean they will be that way next week though. I am sure it hurt to hear; it may not have been meant to be taken personally at all, even though it felt painful to hear. It can be hard to realize that some people don't have as much bandwidth as you feel that you do to be there for others.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

When people don't know how to help they often distance themselves and when they feel overwhelmed by the suffering. When they realize that it is a long term thing and there is no easy solution or cure it can be very hard for people to stick around and keep up the encouragement. They may have faith in you but just don't show it when you feel you need it. It can become more you relying on yourself to keep your own faith in yourself. Your friend's response sounds like they are unable to handle anything else in their life at the moment. It may not mean they will be that way next week though. I am sure it hurt to hear; it may not have been meant to be taken personally at all, even though it felt painful to hear. It can be hard to realize that some people don't have as much bandwidth as you feel that you do to be there for others.

The thing is I wasn't constantly talking to them about my problems, I barely did it. They just saw the way I was during my worst moments and immediately lost hope in me. I don't know if that's more indicative of who they really are or how hopeless I am lmao.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

So be it, beloved; let them believe what they want, for this is out of your hands.

"You cannot please everyone; control the things you can control." ~Suncha Ferreira (Victus Group)

 

[peacebenow]

The thing is I wasn't constantly talking to them about my problems, I barely did it. They just saw the way I was during my worst moments and immediately lost hope in me. I don't know if that's more indicative of who they really are or how hopeless I am lmao.

I know, I get it. I was getting at the same thing. They saw you that way. It can be everything I said above and also who they are as individuals. Their behavior does not determine your hopelessness even though you may internalize it that way.

 

[wine is fine but]

some have fairh in you, but the only person who truly needs to have fairh in you, is yourself

you do have sone, but hopefully you can find even more. you are trying so hard, you deserve to win this battle

the word needs people like you. it does not deserve them, but ir definitely neefs them

 

[bl33ding_heart]

some have fairh in you, but the only person who truly needs to have fairh in you, is yourself

you do have sone, but hopefully you can find even more. you are trying so hard, you deserve to win this battle

the word needs people like you. it does not deserve them, but ir definitely neefs them

Thank you so much for your kindness. This genuinely made me smile.

 

[iCryInMySecretSpot]

awww im sorry angel <3 again, you're like the nicest person i know here. i hope you can find good friends and a support system that cares. i KNOW you can get better.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

awww im sorry angel <3 again, you're like the nicest person i know here. i hope you can find good friends and a support system that cares. i KNOW you can get better.

Aww, tysm! Love you dude.