Venting No one fucking listens to me anymore...

[HNR_]

Just when I thought I couldn't get lonelier, I get two bad experiences back to back, I want to stop talking altogether apart from on here

5 days ago now, I had a stupid argument about something vapid with a friend, she basically misconstrued my argument on purpose to take me for a moron and, since it was one of main reasons why I ended a friendship, it awakened some bad memories
When she started dismissing my argument, I simply said "eh, I guess", thinking that would be the end of it but she, then, doubled down so I explained myself again despite being irritated then, since she kept going, told her I was done arguing about stupid bullshit

If all goes well, I should CTB in two to three weeks so yeah, I don't want to have some argument about something as dumb as fucking video games now, I don't have the patience anymore and I'm getting more and more irritable

But that's not even the end of it, she ghosted me after that when I sent her some stuff about a movie, ignoring the argument since moving on that way's the best way to deal with it imo
She only sent me a message 3 days after the fact, not apologizing or anything but sending something completely unrelated

I know that the type of folks who ghost others like that, in my experience, expect the other to come back crawling and it's yet another thing I don't want to fucking deal with anymore, it also happened to me in the past with someone else
So I didn't reply to her at all and don't plan to

Am I the petty one now?
Perhaps but I don't give a fuck, don't treat people like playthings when they slightly inconvenience you, especially not about random bullshit, it's not that hard of a concept to grasp...

Now for the second one, I met some girl online on a NSFW site, she looks cute so I DM her, we talk a bit, she seems sweet and we end up talking about our feelings, all goes well, we seem pretty compatible but I end things there, I'm not seeking a relationship now that I know I'll CTB

I inform her about it, we talk about our reasons and she keeps repeating how she respects my choice but at the same time keeps saying how she wouldn't, what worked for her and all of that
She was preachy about it and her reasons were completely unrelated to mine so I tell her just that and she just replies "i'm telling you about my story" and like...ok? I don't know you though? Why would you tell me all of that if not to help me considering the context? Virtue signaling? Feel better about herself?

Very weird already but then she tries to summaries the reason why I want to CTB, I didn't even tell her in detail all the reasons, I summed it up and yet, she completely got it wrong despite keeping it shorter than a tweet

So now not only do I know that not only I won't be remembered once I'm not longer there, people don't listen to me when I still am...
Sorry for the essay btw, I noticed how long it got halfway through...

 

[ctb_warrior]

Just when I thought I couldn't get lonelier, I get two bad experiences back to back, I want to stop talking altogether apart from on here

5 days ago now, I had a stupid argument about something vapid with a friend, she basically misconstrued my argument on purpose to take me for a moron and, since, it was one of main reasons why I ended a friendship
When she started dismissing my argument, I simply said "eh, I guess", thinking that would be the end of it but she, then, doubled down so I explained myself again despite being irritated then, since she kept going, told her I was done arguing about stupid bullshit

If all goes well, I should CTB in two to three weeks so yeah, I don't want to have some argument about something as dumb as fucking video games now, I don't have the patience anymore and I'm getting more and more irritable

But that's not even the end of it, she ghosted me after that when I sent her some stuff about a movie, ignoring the argument since moving on that way's the best way to deal with it imo
She only sent me a message 3 days after the fact, not apologizing or anything but sending something completely unrelated

I know that the type of folks who ghost others like that, in my experience, expect the other to come back crawling and it's yet another thing I don't want to fucking deal with anymore, it also happened to me in the past with someone else
So I didn't reply to her at all and don't plan to

Am I the petty one now?
Perhaps but I don't give a fuck, don't treat people like playthings when they slightly inconvenience you, especially not about random bullshit, it's not that hard of a concept to grasp...

Now for the second one, I met some girl online on a NSFW site, she looks cute so I DM her, we talk a bit, she seems sweet and we end up talking about our feelings, all goes well, we seem pretty compatible but I end things there, I'm not seeking a relationship now that I know I'll CTB

I inform her about it, we talk about our reasons and she keeps repeating how she respects my choice but at the same time keeps saying how she wouldn't, what worked for her and all of that
She was preachy about it and her reasons were completely unrelated to mine so I tell her just that and she just replies "i'm telling you about my story" and like...ok? I don't know you though? Why would you tell me all of that if not to help me considering the context? Virtue signaling? Feel better about herself?

Very weird already but then she tries to summaries the reason why I want to CTB, I didn't even tell her in detail all the reasons, I summed it up and yet, she completely got it wrong despite keeping it shorter than a tweet

So now not only do I know that not only I won't be remembered once I'm not longer there, people don't listen to me when I still am...
Sorry for the essay btw, I noticed how long it got halfway through...

It's very hurtful to have that experience. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
We are here to listen to you with open arm and ears. Feel at home while you are here

 

[HNR_]

It's very hurtful to have that experience. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.
We are here to listen to you with open arm and ears. Feel at home while you are here

Thanks, I've explained my reasons at length before and I don't think I want to really talk about anything but CTB, maybe try to be helpful on here in one way or another, it's the only thing I seem to be at least ok at...

 

[ctb_warrior]

Thanks, I've explained my reasons at length before and I don't think I want to really talk about anything but CTB, maybe try to be helpful on here in one way or another, it's the only thing I seem to be at least ok at...

I can feel you. I too have been in may be a similar situation or worse perhaps. I had planned my attempt last week, but my setup got confiscated and I'm back home. With absolutely no full proof way available. I thought of swb but I'm not convinced enough that i can get peace certainly. I have browsed through the entire forum to look for a way out..and still browsing through. With many failed attempts in the past, this time i need something that can ascertain peace

 

[HNR_]

I can feel you. I too have been in may be a similar situation or worse perhaps. I had planned my attempt last week, but my setup got confiscated and I'm back home. With absolutely no full proof way available. I thought of swb but I'm not convinced enough that i can get peace certainly. I have browsed through the entire forum to look for a way out..and still browsing through. With many failed attempts in the past, this time i need something that can ascertain peace

Terribly sorry to hear...I also had issues with my methods in the past which is why I'm still here

First, I wanted to use an exit bag with nitrogen or another gas but it's impossible to get in France so then I looked into SN, looked promising for a bit but then DSL was taken down and I got anxious about customs keeping it and getting the cops at my door, I live with my grandma and father so yeah, don't want this to snowball
I'll have to jump, I know SI might be a bitch but it's all I have left and I know it won't fail, considering the height

 

[ctb_warrior]

Terribly sorry to hear...I also had issues with my methods in the past which is why I'm still here

First, I wanted to use an exit bag with nitrogen or another gas but it's impossible to get in France so then I looked into SN, looked promising for a bit but then DSL was taken down and I got anxious about customs keeping it and getting the cops at my door, I live with my grandma and father so yeah, don't want this to snowball
I'll have to jump, I know SI might be a bitch but it's all I have left and I know it won't fail, considering the height

Broooooo, jumping is a non method. Please don't do it. Find anything else but not this.. we have a fellow member in our community, who got disabled due to jumping. I don't remember the exact height but it was significantly high. People can survive great heights depending on how they land on the ground.. It's not a full proof unfortunately. I too stood at the balcony of 10th floor of my building when i was 17. Someone or the other was looking at me, so i aborted that plan and never tried it considering the mess it is and it will also get covered in newspaper and stuff

 

[HNR_]

Broooooo, jumping is a non method. Please don't do it. Find anything else but not this.. we have a fellow member in our community, who got disabled due to jumping. I don't remember the exact height but it was significantly high. People can survive great heights depending on how they land on the ground.. It's not a full proof unfortunately. I too stood at the balcony of 10th floor of my building when i was 17. Someone or the other was looking at me, so i aborted that plan and never tried it considering the mess it is and it will also get covered in newspaper and stuff

I read about it and the chances are tiny

Only a handful of people survived jumping from the Golden gate bridge and that's a 67 meter drop, I looked up a topological map to figure out which area had drops around 100 meters high for some leeway if I do get unlucky so I don't picture myself surviving that

 

[ctb_warrior]

I read about it and the chances are tiny

Only a handful of people survived jumping from the Golden gate bridge and that's a 67 meter drop, I looked up a topological map to figure out which area had drops around 100 meters high for some leeway if I do get unlucky so I don't picture myself surviving that

I see. I wish you all the love luck and peace in whatever you choose bro,

 

[HNR_]

I see. I wish you all the love luck and peace in whatever you choose bro,

Likewise and thank you!
Needed to hear that tonight

 

[ctb_warrior]

Likewise and thank you!
Needed to hear that tonight

Always here for u. Feel free to reach out whenever you wish to.