rorosbones
i want to sleep forever
- Oct 12, 2025
- 40
my therapist has been on medical leave for the past month, and just got back this week. i have an appointment tomorrow. i don't know why, but part of me wants to talk about my suicide plans. i keep wondering how they'd react if i mentioned the research and planning and talking to people in spaces like this.
i don't know if i still want to kill myself next month, but what if i tell my therapist and that ruins any opportunity i might have? and if i chicken out and don't end up attempting, then there won't be anything to talk about. i feel insane. obviously telling a therapist that i have plans to kill myself is going to ruin those plans. why am i even considering this?? i thought i already decided i couldn't be fixed. why do i still want to try after so many years?
i don't know if i still want to kill myself next month, but what if i tell my therapist and that ruins any opportunity i might have? and if i chicken out and don't end up attempting, then there won't be anything to talk about. i feel insane. obviously telling a therapist that i have plans to kill myself is going to ruin those plans. why am i even considering this?? i thought i already decided i couldn't be fixed. why do i still want to try after so many years?
