Discussion No friends

[IzzyK8176]

Alright, I know that I've already posted something like this, but I what to see if anyone relates or just what's to give their thoughts. So, I told me friend that I was struggle with depression, months ago. They are the first and only person I l've ever told. It was a day before my birthday. I told they that I feel like a failure, loser, worthless garbage. They said that's not true, and basic things to say in that situation. So, months pass and during a call I bring it up, but subtly. Asking if they remember what I told them. They kinda did, but they said if I was over it already. As, if depression is something to be fixed in mere months. I said no, that it takes time or can even stay with you for the rest of your life. To summarize, what he'd said was that, nobody cares and that I should fix myself, because nobody is gonna save me. I ended it a bit after, but that shit really hurt me. I wasn't asking anyone to save me. All I wanted was not to have to go through it alone. To know I had someone that cared about me, but I guess they just don't care enough.

 

[kufajoy]

What I learned from my experience you should never told your situation to a normal person. They will never understand you and all they will comfort first and leave you slowly. Keeping them inside sucks. Ik it makes you so heavy feeling. Nothing we can sadly;) except we can talk about them with therapy or ai bots

 

[Karrikin]

I guess it's why I kind of stopped bringing it up with people --which I'm pretty sure you shouldn't because it's always better to have someone with you. I mean, it all depends on how they're equipped to handle it as well. I guess one of the more common responses is the one where it kind of seems reductive, where a couple of changes on the persons part is enough to fix things but it's usually more complicated than that. Especially that part about asking to be saved, they don't understand, at least not yet, that it's asking for someone to be there rather than for someone to come and magically fix things. It's a response I've been given on more than one occasion but one that I eventually just disregard as me not being able to explain properly, a failure of communication I suppose. But anyways, I hope things get better with your friend, it seems they stuck to a formula to how to deal with a friend in such a situation and it ended up like this unfortunately.

 

[Broken@25]

Im sorry they dont understand the fellings of depression at all like 0% try therapy maybe but be careful say too much they take you in. Your friend isnt wrong either but take it as sign you cant talk to him about depression. Pretty much everyone including family is outwardly negative to poor mental health imo. My choice is CTB I am exhausted, but there is nothing wrong with rebuilding yourself, you decide Good Luck

 

[tomatriste]

everyone processes things differently. perhaps if they were in a similar situation they'd be as tough as they were with you .. on themselves. i wouldn't necessarily say they don't care

 

[IzzyK8176]

Im sorry they dont understand the fellings of depression at all like 0% try therapy maybe but be careful say too much they take you in. Your friend isnt wrong either but take it as sign you cant talk to him about depression. Pretty much everyone including family is outwardly negative to poor mental health imo. My choice is CTB I am exhausted, but there is nothing wrong with rebuilding yourself, you decide Good Luck

I'm thinking about ctb, but can you elaborate further on way you think my friend is right?

everyone processes things differently. perhaps if they were in a similar situation they'd be as tough as they were with you .. on themselves. i wouldn't necessarily say they don't care

Interesting I've haven't thought it like that. That he would be hard on himself the same way he was with me, but I would never tell him that if it was inverse. I would tell him that I will be there for him. That he can talk to me whenever and wherever, no matter what.

I guess it's why I kind of stopped bringing it up with people --which I'm pretty sure you shouldn't because it's always better to have someone with you. I mean, it all depends on how they're equipped to handle it as well. I guess one of the more common responses is the one where it kind of seems reductive, where a couple of changes on the persons part is enough to fix things but it's usually more complicated than that. Especially that part about asking to be saved, they don't understand, at least not yet, that it's asking for someone to be there rather than for someone to come and magically fix things. It's a response I've been given on more than one occasion but one that I eventually just disregard as me not being able to explain properly, a failure of communication I suppose. But anyways, I hope things get better with your friend, it seems they stuck to a formula to how to deal with a friend in such a situation and it ended up like this unfortunately.

That's what I kinda thought too, that if I explained it further he probably would have understood. But, I was to emotionally hurt, that I just didn't want to talk anymore. Can you elaborate further on that he's stuck to a formula to how ro deal with a friend this type of situation?