I've wanted to kill myself since years and I've barely been getting by and the only time where I didn't think about stuff was when I played football. I blew out my knee and I need surgery so I can't play for a year. I also got diagnosed with ADHD so now I have GAD, MDD, and ADHD.
My family is depending on me to do something special because I was the "smart kid" and I've always coasted through high school and the first half of college. I wanted to go to graduate school for math but now I messed up my GPA because of all of this. It's painful to see all my dreams slowly drifting away because I don't know how to survive without football and I don't know how I'll do well when I don't have the focus or motivation for it.
How the fuck am I supposed to compete with people who are smarter than me and normal??? Being mediocre and getting stuck in an average job is the worst thing I can think of and I will kill myself before I let that happen.
Fuck everyone who says I'm weak for wanting to die and thinks therapy and medication solve everything.
My family is depending on me to do something special because I was the "smart kid" and I've always coasted through high school and the first half of college. I wanted to go to graduate school for math but now I messed up my GPA because of all of this. It's painful to see all my dreams slowly drifting away because I don't know how to survive without football and I don't know how I'll do well when I don't have the focus or motivation for it.
How the fuck am I supposed to compete with people who are smarter than me and normal??? Being mediocre and getting stuck in an average job is the worst thing I can think of and I will kill myself before I let that happen.
Fuck everyone who says I'm weak for wanting to die and thinks therapy and medication solve everything.
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