New to this site and suicidal

[Dark Moon]

Hello,

I have been lurking here for like a year or so but I have joined here now. This is the first time I'm posting on a forum in over 6 years but anyways, I'm disabled Autism/Asperger's Syndrome been bullied for most of my life and never really had a girlfriend before. I have mental pain, trauma and suicidal thoughts. I don't have much motivation either I haven't decided when I want to kill myself yet but preferably before my mum dies. I'm a big gamer also it's my main hobby/passion.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Being on the autism spectrum is a miserable existence. I'm right there with you. I never even found out I had it until I was in my 20s. My childhood diagnosis was withheld from me. When I found out about it, everything made sense looking back. My behavioural problems, being prone to violence growing up and always feeling like I was on the peripheral. It made perfect sense.

I struggled massively with the transition to adulthood, which severely exacerbated my depression to the stage that it impacted me daily. I was pretty good at faking it in order to fit in when growing up, but that all fell apart after I left school, along with the rest of my life.

I'm also a big on gaming too, classic games in particular.

 

[makethepainstop]

In so sorry for both of the previous posters. Life doesn't even start VB as fair for some people. I hope you both can achieve your aspirations. Much love to both of you.
.

 

[Dark Moon]

Being on the autism spectrum is a miserable existence. I'm right there with you. I never even found out I had it until I was in my 20s. My childhood diagnosis was withheld from me. When I found out about it, everything made sense looking back. My behavioural problems, being prone to violence growing up and always feeling like I was on the peripheral. It made perfect sense.

I struggled massively with the transition to adulthood, which severely exacerbated my depression to the stage that it impacted me daily. I was pretty good at faking it in order to fit in when growing up, but that all fell apart after I left school, along with the rest of my life.

I'm also a big on gaming too, classic games in particular.

Yeah it's a curse for sure. I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 15 and missed an early diagnosis, teachers used to say that I had a problem compared to the other kids, I couldn't fit in then and I still can't fit into society now even if I try to fake being normal. I also think I have had a depression for years.

What games are you into? I mainly play newer games but I play older games now and then.

In so sorry for both of the previous posters. Life doesn't even start VB as fair for some people. I hope you both can achieve your aspirations. Much love to both of you.
.

Thanks you too.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you have suffered so much in life. Life really is too cruel and unfair and I understand that it’s dreadful having to endure a life that is just constant misery. I also have Aspergers Syndrome, it’s always been tiring existing in a world that I was never meant for. I wish you peace.

 

[Dark Moon]

It sounds like you have suffered so much in life. Life really is too cruel and unfair and I understand that it’s dreadful having to endure a life that is just constant misery. I also have Aspergers Syndrome, it’s always been tiring existing in a world that I was never meant for. I wish you peace.

I also don't think I'm meant for this world either. Thank you FuneralCry.

 

[theboy]

Hello
I hope you feel better in this dark world

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Yeah it's a curse for sure. I didn't get a diagnosis until I was 15 and missed an early diagnosis, teachers used to say that I had a problem compared to the other kids, I couldn't fit in then and I still can't fit into society now even if I try to fake being normal. I also think I have had a depression for years.

What games are you into? I mainly play newer games but I play older games now and then.

Thanks you too.

Sorry for the late reply. I do still play recent games. Beat Elden Ring recently and loved it.

Classic games, I'm into Legend of Zelda, Earthbound, Resident Evil 1, 2 and 3, Metroid, along with others from that period. I'm sentimental about those games, for sure.

 

[lonelygirl111]

life makes having a disability detrimental. people look at you different, treat you different. your at a disadvantage from the very start and most people are so cruel. i’m sorry you have been in so much pain and have suffered a lot. i’m glad u finally joined. i hope u find comfort and peace away from everything that causes u pain

 

[Dark Moon]

life makes having a disability detrimental. people look at you different, treat you different. your at a disadvantage from the very start and most people are so cruel. i’m sorry you have been in so much pain and have suffered a lot. i’m glad u finally joined. i hope u find comfort and peace away from everything that causes u pain

Thank you for your reply kind girl

Sorry for the late reply. I do still play recent games. Beat Elden Ring recently and loved it.

Classic games, I'm into Legend of Zelda, Earthbound, Resident Evil 1, 2 and 3, Metroid, along with others from that period. I'm sentimental about those games, for sure.

Oh I don't think I can play elden ring those games are hard for me. I have only played resident evil out of those.

Hello
I hope you feel better in this dark world

Hi, not really but thanks for your reply anyway.