Venting new mattress

[ilovemybed]

my mom bought me a new mattress.

i have been using mine since i was fourteen years old. i am twenty five years old now. i have always tell myself i am going to kill myself after i clean up my room. my mess. i do not want everyone to look at my room with disgust and pity after my death.

mom bought me a new mattress.

this means i am going to have to dismantle the whole bed frame. i am not planning to get a new one. new bed frame is going to collect dust like my old one. dismantling bed frame means a total deep cleaning for my room. finally i am going to clean this whole mess i have been keeping. i am going to throw away everything.

i am going to finally kill myself. there is nothing holding me back anymore like my messy room.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

this means i am going to have to dismantle the whole bed frame.

Not exactly following this. You can't clean up your room unless you dismantle your bed frame?

 

[ilovemybed]

Not exactly following this. You can't clean up your room unless you dismantle your bed frame?

i feel like the biggest mess in my room is my bed (my mattress and bed frame). bcs its very old and some of the frames were broken in the middle. and when i lie on them it kinda suck my body halfway in them (like a quicksand, anw just to describe how old and disgusting and messy it is).

i did make the effort to clean my room but the sight of my old bed and i did nothing to replace them always demotivates me so i had left my room to get even more an ugly mess.

my mom always said she gonna buy me a new mattress bcs im the only member in the family that had never gotten my bed replaced yet since we moved into the new house when i was fourteen years old. my bed is actually the same bed my brother used when we were kid and we brought the bed with us when we moved to the new house (and i get the bed bcs they got a new one). anyway i guess my mom took too long to get me a new mattress bcs i was not always at home most of the time when i was in high school. i went to boarding school and then uni until covid got me stuck in my house for the longest time.

then i fell into depression and i cannot get up to do something about myself. and then i got a job and so little energy to care about myself, so much about my room. so it just gets even more disgusting from there.

but yeah, the new mattress arrived last week and i only got this weekend to clean up some things in my room (like throwing a whole bed frame).

tldr: i guess yes? bcs nothing gets really clean for me unless i throw the whole bed frame away. hope this answers your question :)

 

[locked*n*loaded]

ldr: i guess yes? bcs nothing gets really clean for me unless i throw the whole bed frame away. hope this answers your question :)

It does. I hope you can get your things the way you want them so you can be satisfied and find your peace. Good luck.