Never open up about Suicide

[_Minsk]

I know its tempting sometimes but its better to never talk about it

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree, I just believe it'll lead to more suffering. Sadly there's no acceptance towards suicide as a personal choice.

 

[KillingPain267]

Exactly. I would lose my remaining freedom, and ironically feel more inclined to ctb, or worse. And it would end up being a more brutal method.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Couldn't agree more, as much as I understand that people may want to open up about it, unfortunately it comes with consequences that entails your freedom being taken away and it might make things even worse than before.

 

[KillingPain267]

Opening up to someone about ctb is like telling someone you plan to kill your family.

 

[unabletocope]

Is that really true though? If I talk about suicide most people will just say 'you're an adult and it's your responsibility, do what you will'

 

[fleetingnight]

This is the only place I can do it, that's why I'm so grateful for this site. Ironically, I'm much more likely to hurt myself impulsively if something happens to it and I have nowhere to vent again.

 

[Darkover]

my mum and dad both know i am suicidal they've both said it's my choice

 

[lizzywizzy09]

my mum and dad both know i am suicidal they've both said it's my choice

I wish mine were accepting too.

 

[PinballWizard39]

It doesn't really matter if I say anything or not, I still get ignored by everyone around me, including the mental health team. It's got to the point where I just say it how it is now (for the most part), because I know nothing will happen. The mental health team know I'm suicidal and have access to the means but they don't even try to take it off me - In December, I had a psychiatrist see me in my own home and even he didn't try to take the means off me despite knowing about my plan.. There comes a point though where I just shut down and stop talking because them not being bothered in any way, makes me feel even more like I don't matter in this world. I should say though that I don't actually want them to take anything off me, but it would be nice to think that they cared enough to at least try to keep me safe - you know, do their job.

 

[UmbraDweller]

Yes it really is. I often can't help myself to talk about it though and I always end up regretting it so much. It makes me feel misunderstood, unaccepted, ignored, insane, attention seeking... In the end I realize I'm truly alone in this. Also, it can take one wrong ear to end up in psych ward. Some things are just better to keep to yourself.

 

[Linda]

I know its tempting sometimes but its better to never talk about it

It depends on your circumstances. I wil ctb if my husband dies before me. He knows that. So do several other members of my family. It hasn't caused any problems.

 

[InboxRain292]

I feel like if people know, they will start "worrying" aka pretending they care, but in reality causing more trouble. Like, they would secretly spread rumors/gossip about me if I talked about it

 

[UKscotty]

For me it depends why someone is talking. If they want help then it's good to talk to others, but we have to be mindful that people are obliged to act and stop us dying. Its unreasonable for us to expect people to accept suicide. It's hard enough for us and we actually want to CTB. Someone who doesn't suffer like us could never understand the mental torture of suicidal thoughts.

 

[SelfKill]

so true, it will just lead to more struggle. Wouldn't recommend

 

[Callie Arcale]

I never do. That's why I am on this site, so I can talk about it.

 

[blippy]

This is why I am grateful to be a part of this community. I only want to discuss it with people that can potentially understand this taboo view without judgement. Thank you all

 

[kindalone]

The only acceptable suicide is a successful one which leaves nobody to blame other than the victim itself or something completely uncontrollable. A living person talking about suicide is a cry for help, regardless of how it's formulated. The receiver of said message will feel responsible, maybe guilty. They will either try to help with their limited understanding and preconceived notions about suicide, which will make things worse, or avoid the topic altogether and shift the blame. It's not because they want you to feel better necessarily. It's to make these uncomfortable feelings go away as quickly as possible. Nobody wants to feel guilty.

If you need longer to become better or never improve, you will eventually become a source of constant discomfort. You'll make them feel even guiltier. The cause of their constant worry and anxiety. If you were to successfully attempt and go through with it, then everyone could go into grieving. No more constant worries. No more uncertainty. That's why a note is so important. Anything you leave unanswered will be a possible thing to ruminate over. But if they aren't to blame, they can disassociate.

That's why I think telling someone, especially friends and family, will always result in immediate action or shifting the blame. The weird thing is, people, who are either very understanding or don't care about you at all, are probably the best people to confess to. They don't feel the need to interfere and let you be. That's my take on it.

 

[AveMori]

my mum and dad both know i am suicidal they've both said it's my choice

Mine just told me to stop threatening them. Like wtf, I didn't say I'd kill them, how are they suddenly the victims?

 

[divinemistress87]

When i opened up about it I got sent to psych ward and talked into electro shock therapy which gave me a lot of permanent memory loss. I know now to keep my mouth shut

 

[glossble]

Unfortunately, the only help we get if we open up about suicide is hospitalization in a psych ward. The rest will treat us as sick, crazy or even criminals, the best we can get is pity ( • ᴖ • ｡)

 

[Pancake1230]

I made the mistake of opening up to my mom, all it got me was 2 weeks in the ward and everyone in my family knows I'm suicidal and self harm even though she promised to keep it between us.

Seeking help (for me) is a fucking scam

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't understand why would one talk about suicide to begin with to pro lifers if they don't want to be saved. We all know that society is full of pro lifers who wants us alive at all costs and aren't able to comprehend that suicide can be a rational choice. It's folly to talk about suicide to people who want to keep you alive for their own benefit if you want to kill yourself

 

[Promised Heaven]

Two ER visits and several broken friendships later, I find myself agreeing more then I should.

I don't entirely blame people for worrying or freaking out, it's a natural reaction for percieved loss. But I do blame them for putting me through more distress and not understanding my reasoning. The thing is, I do want to live and not CTB in the end, but just saying I'm struggling can lead to people viewing me differently and often a loss of respect. They often stress out so much about me then find their own health worsening before breaking away from me for their wellbeing, making me feel miserable about opening up.

I just want to be heard and understood and my pain cared for without a one way trip to the hospital, but that is unacceptable in our current world. Hiding these thoughts is a survival factor for my sanity, I wish it wasn't this way.

 

[AveMori]

When i opened up about it I got sent to psych ward and talked into electro shock therapy which gave me a lot of permanent memory loss. I know now to keep my mouth shut

Omg thats terrible! I told my psychiatrist once and he took it well thankfully. He was a bit shocked that I prepared my whole method (including ordering SN) without him having any idea of it, but he just told me to think about it carefully and talk to him beforehand. I definitely won't talk to him beforehand, but he handled it very well (in stark difference to my fam).

 

[snakefeet]

Yeah, I tell my therapist about my SI but definitely minimize it and talk in more theoretical terms since I worry that I'd face consequences of being honest that it's a constant thought in my brain and I'm hoping to find a SN source soon.

Glad this exists as an outlet to genuinely discuss things without having to play it off as a "joke"

 

[thetruetato]

I know its tempting sometimes but its better to never talk about it

It's really quite sad that people who open up about suicidal thoughts get locked away and restrained like incompetent animals, and are left with no control over what happens to them. "This is a safe space, it's okay to talk about your problems", people will say. It's not true. They will most likely send you away to an institution so they can feel like some type of "hero".
However, in some scenarios, it is okay to openly express these thoughts. This mostly occurs online, where people either have no problem with your wish to die (like this website) or are unable to do anything because they don't know where you live or who you are (on other depression-related forums which are not pro-choice but still allow for venting). If the person/people you are communicating with is likely to try to force "help" on you, and is able to access your personal information (this only applies if online, as in real life it's much easier to track someone you were just talking with) such as your name or location, then it's better to not open up to them.

 

[hollywhite13]

Omg thats terrible! I told my psychiatrist once and he took it well thankfully. He was a bit shocked that I prepared my whole method (including ordering SN) without him having any idea of it, but he just told me to think about it carefully and talk to him beforehand. I definitely won't talk to him beforehand, but he handled it very well (in stark difference to my fam).

Can I ask where you got the SN? I'm in Ireland -

 

[Dark Moon]

I only ever hinted that I was suicidal but I don't really want to open up about it for reasons people said. The family will probably call the police or the mental health teams on me.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

Last night, I made a somewhat sarcastic comment about killing myself, and I found myself at a friend's place for the night. I didn't open about ideations; just the simple, snarky comment provoked enough worry for them to push me to stay over. I tried to clarify that "nothing serious was going to happen" (yet), but they insisted that they would feel awful if something happened to me and they did nothing about it. I felt like I was intruding into their space and tried not to ask for anything. They didn't ask anything of me, nor did they call any numbers, they just gave me a place to stay. They might push for me to stay an extra night too. I feel guilty for worrying them, and I feel guilty knowing how I'll hurt them later down the line, in the event of my death.