st4r53t
Endlessly endeavor. This is finding infinity.
- Nov 26, 2023
- 39
I'm bad, quite bad. I don't feel right at all living here on this planet. I may sound disconnected from reality, but I really don't feel like I fit in here. I have had suicidal thoughts since I was a small child. For me it is a misunderstanding that I have such thoughts at such an age. Many things have happened in my life that have influenced my perception of the world became distorted. Yes, I tried. It's not that I don't. I tried to get back on my feet, I thought I was making things up. After all, everyone around me is happy and has a wonderful life. There's something wrong with me. It didn't work, I can't do anything. I can't live. I can't enjoy stupid little things. Everything overwhelms me. Every day I wake up with disgust, I know it's another day of thinking about how I want to die. Some time ago, my mother noticed that something was wrong with me, I explained everything to her. Of course she didn't understand me. She doesn't accept my decision that I want to die. I am sad. I suffer and she enjoys life as much as she can. It's unfair. I am called selfish and selfish by my "closest". I know that my departure may be hard for the other party, but they are aware that my existence is suffering. I would like to be understood. I wish someone would tell me that they respect my decision. I would also like to get help from such a person to break away from this pain and not stay stuck in it. All my CTB methods are a failure, I don't know how to relieve myself anymore. I want to leave peacefully and without pain.
