Need help to CTB - Advice on methods and also religious fear

[JustNeedAdvice]

So, I think I'm making up my mind to CTB. But the method I was considering more is not really the one I want to go through with. I was considering drinking a lot of cleaning products (I don't think there's straight up bleach here), but the immense pain I would experience if I don't soon fall unconscious, as well as the chance of SI kicking in or of survival in general which would ruin my life forever, is too prevalent. I'm scared no matter the amount I consume

There are two other methods I would want to use - Gun to the head or overdose. These two are tricky for me to get a hold of. My first question is what kind of common household meds would help in overdosing? And how much? I would love for this to be as swift and painless as possible. I can't think of any other methods I would prefer to use. I don't want to jump, and I don't really know much about this partial suspension that people talk about.

There's also the second part of this - my family here is Christian, and its been deeply rooted in my mind. I'm scared that if I do this, I'm going to hell. What if I try to end it, only to have it end up worse? Does it depend on the circumstances? Does my circumstance count as a mortal sin? I know that I'm hurting people by doing this, and I feel so, so sorry, but I'm still doing it. I just don't want to live like this anymore. And if its not the suicide that sends me to hell, what if its my past doubt in christ? I've been baptised, and recently I've been starting to actually try to believe in something, praying and praying, but how can I trust myself? What if its not faith, but just a response to my own grief and sorrow? How is anyone supposed to know? I also don't entirely think everything the Catholic faith says is true - its hard think think I would go to hell for being gay

I just really want advice, or be redirected to someone who knows more

 

[befree]

I know as a new member you can´t use the search function yet.

Here is some information for you to read:

considering methods

whats the best kind of method that's easily accessible. I was considering Hannah Baker style but that seems super messy and painful. I don't have any way to get my hands on N or anything like that sooo

sanctioned-suicide.net

Need ideas

I want to end things because I'm tired of feeling like a failure and always being wrong about things. I can barely be an adult and will never have more than a minimum wage job. What are ways to end things quickly and peacefully, preferably that I can hide from a spouse that works from home?

sanctioned-suicide.net

https://i.sanctioned-suicide.net/images/2023/03/163909_PPH_Essentials_2022.pdf

Suicide Resource Compilation

All the links to threads, videos, audio, downloads, and information found here are being made available only for educational purposes, and have been shared by users; we cannot assure the accuracy of the data. This means the way you use this data is fully your responsibility, that you need to...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This is just a general information. I do not encourage you to commit suicide and to use these methods. You act on your own responsibility.

 

[angel31]

I know thats not what u wanna hear probably, but i would encourage u to do ur own research… there is no one universal best method and its best if u look into it by yourself… and looking into it makes u think about ur ctb more and thats rlly important… the links befree gave u are a good starting point (especially PPH) but if ur intrigued by a specific method do more research on it… (btw OD on cleaning products and stuff like that in general is not recommended)
In the end what u do is completely ur choice and should be based on ur own research.
And ofc if ur not 100% sure u want to ctb, dont do it, if u think recovery could work for u consider it…) I hope whatever u choose to do, will work out for u I am wishing u all the luck in the world, if u have any questions u can PM me and if I know smth ill tell u :)
(The religion stuff i dont know much about, sry but if god knows everything he should know and understand ur reason aswell… right?)
Hugs and Love <3

 

[FuneralCry]

Overdosing on easily accessible medication isn't a reliable suicide method, it will just lead to more suffering, sadly suicide just isn't that straightforward in this world, we exist in a world where suicide is purposely made as difficult as possible so if people could easily and reliably ctb in such a way then the medication would soon be restricted.
And the only hell that exists is this horrible world, I believe that death is true relief from all suffering as we simply cease to exist, to me anything related to religion is fictional, designed to brainwash people but it must be awful having those fears. I personally only fear this existence but find comfort in death.

 

[JustNeedAdvice]

I know thats not what u wanna hear probably, but i would encourage u to do ur own research… there is no one universal best method and its best if u look into it by yourself… and looking into it makes u think about ur ctb more and thats rlly important… the links befree gave u are a good starting point (especially PPH) but if ur intrigued by a specific method do more research on it… (btw OD on cleaning products and stuff like that in general is not recommended)
In the end what u do is completely ur choice and should be based on ur own research.
And ofc if ur not 100% sure u want to ctb, dont do it, if u think recovery could work for u consider it…) I hope whatever u choose to do, will work out for u I am wishing u all the luck in the world, if u have any questions u can PM me and if I know smth ill tell u :)
(The religion stuff i dont know much about, sry but if god knows everything he should know and understand ur reason aswell… right?)
Hugs and Love <3

Yeah I have been looking around at some resources and I think I might go through with the night-night method, as it seems to be the least painful one that's accessible to me. I've heard that new members can't use the search function until they've made a certain number of posts, I think. Do you know what that number is?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Religions are manmade and beliefs are indoctrinated. Don't think too much about it. It's your own choice what you want to do. But as others already said consider your method wisely. I hope you can fine peace!

You may need about 10 posts and then also your chat function will be activated.

 

[angel31]

Yeah I have been looking around at some resources and I think I might go through with the night-night method, as it seems to be the least painful one that's accessible to me.

Ok the night-night method isnt too bad, but be sure ull test a lot, find ur "sweet spot", and practice it many many times before u actally try to ctb. NN can cause a lot of brain damage and even make u a vegetable if u dont train enough.

Do you know what that number is?

I dont know by heart and if I would I wouldnt be allowed to tell u. (The reaction score doesnt matter btw. And chat messages dont do shit either) There is a reason this is this way, u have to spend some time thinking about ctb b4 u actally ctb. So just research some methods, if u have any questions ask them, there are a lot of very knowledgeable people here that are happy to help u, it wont take that long. Dont rush ur ctb. Thats really important. And of course the PM offer is still there <3 (but u need a bit more messages for that 2 i think)

 

[day]

I'd heavily reconsider using OD as a method as it's extremely unreliable and with my failed CTB on benzos being nothing short of one of the worst moments in my existence I personally don't recommend it.

Firearm is fine but be cautious about where you do it and remember you have a high likely hood of causing trauma to those that will find you.

As for your religious beliefs I don't know what to say really. Didn't god die for our sins? You also mention being gay which has made me lose my entire family myself so I feel that's just as bad (not to make you feel bad but). Just putting it into perspective. You will be fine on the religious aspect OP.

Good luck and safe travels.

 

[JustNeedAdvice]

Religions are manmade and beliefs are indoctrinated. Don't think too much about it. It's your own choice what you want to do. But as others already said consider your method wisely. I hope you can fine peace!

You may need about 10 posts and then also your chat function will be activated.

Yeah, I've thought the same for a while, but its hard to shake when religion is a constant in your life. I think I know the way I want to go, but I'm taking the time to plan and prep.

Thanks so much for letting me know!

I'd heavily reconsider using OD as a method as it's extremely unreliable and with my failed CTB on benzos being nothing short of one of the worst moments in my existence I personally don't recommend it.

Firearm is fine but be cautious about where you do it and remember you have a high likely hood of causing trauma to those that will find you.

As for your religious beliefs I don't know what to say really. Didn't god die for our sins? You also mention being gay which has made me lose my entire family myself so I feel that's just as bad (not to make you feel bad but). Just putting it into perspective. You will be fine on the religious aspect OP.

Good luck and safe travels.

Yeah I think firearm is out of the question, I would probably cause the most harm and its just extremely inaccessible for me, as quick as it is. And OD just comes with even more risks.

The more I think about going through with it the less the religious aspect concerns me. I feel surprisingly better in general making this choice

Ok the night-night method isnt too bad, but be sure ull test a lot, find ur "sweet spot", and practice it many many times before u actally try to ctb. NN can cause a lot of brain damage and even make u a vegetable if u dont train enough.

I dont know by heart and if I would I wouldnt be allowed to tell u. (The reaction score doesnt matter btw. And chat messages dont do shit either) There is a reason this is this way, u have to spend some time thinking about ctb b4 u actally ctb. So just research some methods, if u have any questions ask them, there are a lot of very knowledgeable people here that are happy to help u, it wont take that long. Dont rush ur ctb. Thats really important. And of course the PM offer is still there <3 (but u need a bit more messages for that 2 i think)

Yeah i'll make sure to practice it a bunch, I have a goal to ctb before summer ends so I have time. Right now I've been feeling pressure in my head but havent lost consciousness yet. I'm hoping it works out well. Thanks a lot for helping, I'll PM you if I need it ^^