Help Need advice. What would you do in my situation

[SeekingPeace164]

Some background: I am about to graduate college with a computer science degree. I have a job offer but still deeply regret the degree choice. Been suicidal for a while but made the choice that if this job doesn't work out I'm fucked and going to ctb (humiliation and guilt would be too much to bare).

However, there's another possibility:

I met this guy on r/suicidewatch ( i know, of all places) in October. I'm in the US, he's in the Netherlands. We started off friends and then it quickly became romantic. Fast forward to today, and he wants me to visit him there and potentially move there with him and start a life with him there (of course first visit and then decide later). The thing is, I really don't know if I'll be able to get a decent job there (I got mine out of being likable and luck, not skills, which I lack). I need to decide by tomorrow so kinda urgent. Thankfully he's well established, has a good job and well off (bought apartment and has one million in spare cash). I told him my worries and he said money doesn't matter and blah blah blah but idk, and he'd even pay for degree for me. a huge part of me would love to start over in life, get a new degree, and spend the rest of my life with someone I deeply love. But another part of me doesn't know if I can handle the real world post college, let alone in a different country. I know deep down he can do better and find someone equal to him but he really has strong feelings for me. Someone that he doesn't have to fund to help start over again. Someone who has their shit together. He was previously suicidal over his ex wife do I reallyyy don't want to fuck anything up with him and hurt him in any way. I am thinking to break this off so that he can find better, but idk, maybe I deserve something too? He had been struggling to find dates prior to us getting serious. I'm sick of overthinking this. Maybe this is a blessing that I needed. Or could also be a colossal mistake.

Of course there's a chance that he'd get sick of me, and/or I'd have a mental breakdown and be fucked.

what should I do?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Ill send you a dm

 

[SexyIncél]

Sorry for the late response

I don't see any red flags yet. Might be best to not move in together, at least for a long while; have your own space. So it doesn't feel weird that he's buying everything, perhaps you can buy pay for it in proportion to your incomes... which probably means he's ALMOST paying for everything :P

It doesn't have to be a mistake, if you limit the consequences of mistakes. For example, you're visiting first, not immediately moving in

Don't be heartbroken if there's problems. Dysfunction happens; what matters is if both have the metacognition to alter their behavior, to solve the problems. You may have heard of "forming, storming, norming, performing" — and you may loop back to storming every so often