Need advice regarding my living situation

[juna]

Hey everyone, I need some advice and I don't know who to ask. So, I thought I will ask here.
I suffer from depression and do plan/hope to die soon but maybe I will postpone again. I need to move next month. I am trying to find an apartment but all I can afford in this city is a expensive studio. I am a bit scared that I might get even more depressed staying in 1 small room since I work from home. I have 2 options -
Option 1 - Continue living in this city. I don't like this city but I have a friend who lives here. So, that's the only reason I am thinking about living here.
My 2nd option is to move to my old city. I love that city. It is affordable and I can find something nice there. Also, my office is in my old city, so I could go to the office. But I won't have any friends there. I could hope to make some new ones but I really am unable to make friends easily. But going to the office, I do have a great chance at making friends.

What do you think I should do?
Should I move back to my old city?
Truly saying, I haven't even met my friend since 27 December, but just the knowledge that she is here keeps me satisfied. Every Monday I plan to spend the weekend with her, but I am unable to get up from my bed on weekends, so I cancel every time. So, I don't know if her being in the city is really useful.

 

[Ash]

I moved to be near friends and then they moved away for unexpected family reasons so I'm here with only neighbours and acquaintances.

Lesson: do what is best for you in your daily life.

Living somewhere you love makes a big difference to your daily outlook. I live in a run down area with not much going for it and that has a massive impact on my daily mental health.

 

[INTJme]

I don't see the benefit of living in the current city since you admit it yourself that you rarely meet your friend. Also, video/voice calls are not that difficult. I'd prefer more space any day. Alternatively, you can try looking for someone looking for roommates. But that may or may not be an option for you depending on your privacy requirements.

 

[Linda]

From the information you provide, I think your option 2 is best. The most reliable way to make friends after you move is to join some group (or groups) that is concerned with an interest you share. (These days I take part in a dance group. When I was younger, I was involved in several groups that went mountaineering, or at least got out into the wilds. Long ago, I took part in some groups that played bridge.) If you have no interests, then join a group that you think might interest you, and see how it goes. I am still friends with, and still correspond regularly with, people I met many years ago doing those things. Three of them have been sound, reliable friends for more than 50 years.

 

[momento.mori]

Hey everyone, I need some advice and I don't know who to ask. So, I thought I will ask here.
I suffer from depression and do plan/hope to die soon but maybe I will postpone again. I need to move next month. I am trying to find an apartment but all I can afford in this city is a expensive studio. I am a bit scared that I might get even more depressed staying in 1 small room since I work from home. I have 2 options -
Option 1 - Continue living in this city. I don't like this city but I have a friend who lives here. So, that's the only reason I am thinking about living here.
My 2nd option is to move to my old city. I love that city. It is affordable and I can find something nice there. Also, my office is in my old city, so I could go to the office. But I won't have any friends there. I could hope to make some new ones but I really am unable to make friends easily. But going to the office, I do have a great chance at making friends.

What do you think I should do?
Should I move back to my old city?
Truly saying, I haven't even met my friend since 27 December, but just the knowledge that she is here keeps me satisfied. Every Monday I plan to spend the weekend with her, but I am unable to get up from my bed on weekends, so I cancel every time. So, I don't know if her being in the city is really useful.

I think the best decision is you already know and want us to confirm it, and that's OK. I suggest do what will make YOU the happiest! I love my friends but moving to a city to he more stressed doesn't seem like a great option. There's always video chats and other options where you can actually see her move and still enjoy your life in your old city. Either way, I wish you the best in whatever decision you make!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I think I'd go with option 2 and give it a chance this way. If it doesn't work you can still think about CTB. I wish you all the best

 

[butterball]

My 2nd option is to move to my old city. I love that city. It is affordable and I can find something nice there. Also, my office is in my old city, so I could go to the office. But I won't have any friends there. I could hope to make some new ones but I really am unable to make friends easily. But going to the office, I do have a great chance at making friends.

i agree that this is the best option. living somewhere you don't want to has even more of an effect on your mental health :<

you have to do what's best for you, and you've recognised some really positive highlights from option 2. :> there is also ways to stay in touch etc w your friend so don't worry about that.

i wish you the best :>

 

[juna]

Thank you so much guys. I think I will move back to my old city. That is what I really wanted to do since last year. Ever since moving to this city, my mental health has declined even further. But I was just scared of being left alone. I don't know if moving back to the city I love, will solve anything but it seems like the right decision to take. If all else fails, I can always die.

Alternatively, you can try looking for someone looking for roommates

I really want to live alone and independently now. I have been living with roommates earlier. I met many amazing friends that way, my friend I talked about above was my roommate but she moved out to live with her bf. I know if I live alone, I won't need to move again. I need a bit of stability in my life, I can't handle moving again. I will die if I ever have to move after this again.

 

[IonicLemon69]

Move to the place you love!! :) Definitely Option 2!

 

[juna]

Hey Guys, thank you. I followed your advice and I have moved to the city I love. I feel a lot better compared to what I did earlier, though I am extremely lonely. Earlier I had a friend or two but I never enjoyed being outside much even when I was with them. Here, I like it even when I am alone. There are of course times when I sit and think about how lonely and hopeless I am and cry but overall my constant sadness has reduced.

I like it when I go outside. I think I made the right choice. And I can always die if it becomes too hard to bear, so at least there is a way out. I am glad to be in this city. Thank you for influencing my decision.

 

[Raindancer]

Hey Guys, thank you. I followed your advice and I have moved to the city I love. I feel a lot better compared to what I did earlier, though I am extremely lonely. Earlier I had a friend or two but I never enjoyed being outside much even when I was with them. Here, I like it even when I am alone. There are of course times when I sit and think about how lonely and hopeless I am and cry but overall my constant sadness has reduced.

I like it when I go outside. I think I made the right choice. And I can always die if it becomes too hard to bear, so at least there is a way out. I am glad to be in this city. Thank you for influencing my decision.

That is great to hear you are happy with your decision! Can you join some groups or activities to try and meet new people? In the US, there is an app called meet up and it has every kind of group you can imagine. Would a pet be an option at your new place. They can help some with the feelings of loneliness and give some meaning, laughter and joy to life!

 

[juna]

That is great to hear you are happy with your decision! Can you join some groups or activities to try and meet new people? In the US, there is an app called meet up and it has every kind of group you can imagine. Would a pet be an option at your new place. They can help some with the feelings of loneliness and give some meaning, laughter and joy to life!

Hey, yes, I am thinking of joining some swimming classes, I don't know how to swim. So, maybe that could help me. I did adopt a cat this year, so it feels a lot less lonely with her. It is so nice to have a cat playing around. I will check out some meetup groups too.