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DeusVult

DeusVult

Archangel
Aug 18, 2024
74
I've been trying different drugs lately, to try and get me out of my depression and suicidal thoughts. Today I was trying Ecstasy, it was blissful, I felt happy, and everything felt so nice and comforting. When the peak of the Ecstasy ended, I took some Ketamine. What followed is that I've likely fell into a K-hole, the Ketamine was made much more potent by combining it with Ecstasy.

I started loosing my grip on reality, and soon found myself outside of my body, just a consciousness existing somewhere in space, it felt like I was there for days, time wasn't making sense, I'd feel like I'd experienced several hours passing in mere minutes, or the time slowing down to a crawl. The whole experience was insane, I was being completely ripped out of reality and was just thoughts without a body. But it got a bit scary, I felt like my consciousness was disintegrating, like I was leaving the universe, and existence was fading into a void. I was basically feeling like I was dying, and at the moment it felt like I was gonna die, I had completely lost contact with reality couldn't perceive anything, I was stuck in a limbo and time felt frozen. I didn't think I'd ever return back to reality, I thought that was it, I was surely gonna die. Overall a pretty cool experience, I feel like I know what it feels like to die now. I didn't have a body, I couldn't move, my mind was somewhere else, just experiencing a slow death, with time stopping completely, and me just observing the whole universe, and slowly losing more control over my senses. Eventually I started coming back, and regaining a seat in my body, able to move again, but vision was still completely messed up.

Anyways, my depression got better, I feel more connected to the world and to myself. And the Ecstasy when not mixed with other drugs was amazing, made me feel all happy and able to enjoy anything greatly. The Ketamine is also helping with my mood a lot, and is used at hospitals as an anti-depressant in some places, not just a street drug. You should give them a try, before you die.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and EmptyBottle
OzymandiAsh

OzymandiAsh

aNoMaLy
Nov 6, 2025
523
Cool! I would categorize this as an ego death rather than a NDE (which are usually medical emergencies and such). Did you enjoy the process of 'dying' ?
 
  • Informative
Reactions: EmptyBottle
DeusVult

DeusVult

Archangel
Aug 18, 2024
74
Did you enjoy the process of 'dying' ?
It was scary, my conscious mind was disappearing, my perception was stuck on a single picture, I was basically nonexistent, and couldn't do anything but ride it out. Wild stuff, can be quite mind opening to experience.
 
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Reactions: EmptyBottle
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
13,287
Nice trip report :-)

I'm glad you feel better! :heart:
 
nocatwaslost

nocatwaslost

free hugs
Dec 7, 2024
75
Hey, I am glad that it seems to help you and you had somewhat of a "positive"? experience and I don't want to be the grinch, but just beware since you can become addicted to ketamine and both substances have side effects. Obviously you are not doing so well and I am happy for you that you feel more connected to the world, but there was a recent thread on how a person wanted to get sober from a hard drug and it is probably not such a joyous place to be in either.

I hope you understand what I roughly mean
 

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