Navigating SS Friendships

[Mm80]

Haven't read the full thread but I'm new here and would like some friends..... I'm open to chatting so, pm me if you'd like? I'm UK based (Yorkshire).

Are you connected by good honest yorkshire broadband right now? While drinking a nice mug of yorkshire tea?

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Haven't read the full thread but I'm new here and would like some friends..... I'm open to chatting so, pm me if you'd like? I'm UK based (Yorkshire).

I'm in the states and met somebody from North Yorkshire yesterday. Maybe it's a sign? I'm older and I haven't played a video game in 40 years. But if that sounds interesting to you feel free to DM me anytime!

 

[LittleBlackCat]

Are you connected by good honest yorkshire broadband right now? While drinking a nice mug of yorkshire tea?

Neither. Good old Sky, and good old gin and tonic. PG tips is way better anyway

 

[Mm80]

I'm in the states and met somebody from North Yorkshire yesterday. Maybe it's a sign? I'm older and I haven't played a video game in 40 years. But if that sounds interesting to you feel free to DM me anytime!

Get a room pls you two.

 

[Ghost2211]

For what its worth rosey i dont think you just exist on here i think your supportive, knowlegable and inject your sense of humour on here.

Thank you, that really means a lot. It's awesome to have met you.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Also if I am remembering correctly isn't your date the 27th of this month? I tried to memorize your date so I can be here.
Are you still on track for the date. From my own selfish reasons I hope you will stay a while longer and spread more knowledge. But I'm pro-choice...........

Unfortunately from my point of view, fortunately from your point of view, I had to postpone my ctb for a few days today.

I will try to use the additional days for the forum in a valuable way.

 

[checkouttime]

Unfortunately from my point of view, fortunately from your point of view, I had to postpone my ctb for a few days today.

I will try to use the additional days for the forum in a valuable way.

you are too kind a person to be thinking of helping people on the forum, if these are going to be your last few days.

shows what kind of a good person you are I would want you to look after yourself before others though, make sure everything for you is ok :)

 

[Broken Chimera]

I knew before I signed up what this place was about. I don't make a effort to make friends because of the likelihood that someone would ctb. I just give my opinion and move on. On the other hand I wouldn't want anyone to miss me whenever I decide to end it, so it's a win/win.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

Honestly, I just start talking to people accepting that ctb is their right and if that's what they want, I wish for them to have everything go the way they want it to. I accept that it might happen and I go in knowing that I will be sad, but it's alright because it's what they want and I can and should respect that. I console myself with knowing that this brought them peace and it was what they were looking for, so while it hurts, and it hurts that the world is this way where it brings a person to such decision, I know they used their own will and made their rightful choice, I'm proud of them for being strong and incredibly brave. And that's how I remember them - strong and brave, and every time I remember them I smile a little, I don't know where they went but it was them, real them and they used their own free will, and that's damn admirable, and if they chose this, it means wherever they went, it was time for them to leave this place.❤❤❤

Thanks for your perspective. I enjoyed reading this!

I think you've hit upon a great idea there @Sinkinshyp, it's like a Secret Santa system but with friendship, wonderful idea! We must find a way to make it happen :P



Absolutely, it can be so tough to get over the fear which is probably why I think a lot of people on here write "Feel free to message me" in the thread rather than messaging a person themselves directly, you avoid the risk of rejection that way and the other person has kind of done the hard work in setting the tone of the conversation.

But let your sense of humour and personality shine through Chupacabra (great name by the way), I've seen you express it on this thread and you've garnered a really positive reaction from people; I know it's a cliche, but I hope that will give you the confidence to be yourself around the rest of the forum too.

Thank you for the very kind words! And, the sound advice!

Get a room pls you two.

Hey.....you got a spare bedroom over there?

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

you are too kind a person to be thinking of helping people on the forum, if these are going to be your last few days.

shows what kind of a good person you are I would want you to look after yourself before others though, make sure everything for you is ok :)

At the moment the SS family is all I have. And the desire for ctb.

 

[sufferingalways]

Hello I would like people to know this thread is still around.

Do we have any planning on the friendship idea that would work like secret Santa?

@Sinkinshyp have you had any messages with people further to this? Anyone else have any update? Let's see if such a thing can come to be real. Sounds like it would be gratefully received by people.

 

[Giraffey]

Hello I would like people to know this thread is still around.

Do we have any planning on the friendship idea that would work like secret Santa?

@Sinkinshyp have you had any messages with people further to this? Anyone else have any update? Let's see if such a thing can come to be real. Sounds like it would be gratefully received by people.

@Sinkinshyp and I have been discussing and planning this over PMs, I expect we will have something ready to bring into life fairly soon.

 

[sufferingalways]

@Sinkinshyp and I have been discussing and planning this over PMs, I expect we will have something ready to bring into life fairly soon.

Hey ;) ahh thanks that will be nice.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

What do others do that creates friendships here... I've seen it happen but still don't know how they do it. I've found people here I like.

I have found that I end up commenting on lots of the same threads as someone or they comment on the same threads as me. At some point it becomes clear that our views or experiences align. After that, usually there is some catalyst/event on site that promotes a PM from one or the other. Things then continue if it feels appropriate and if not, they don't.
Some people I converse regularly with in PM but seldom in open forum, whilst others I communicate with in forum but less commonly in private. Every relationship, no matter how close or separated is organic and has its own ebb and flow.
I tend to find this quite natural, but I can understand how it can be hard to communicate, especially over the internet, where nuance can easily be missed due to a lack of observable body language.
I have observed however, that often the way people communicate online has its own mannerisms that replace body language, and you can often tell when someone is approachable or not from how they communicate.
I think if you want to pursue closer connections with people, then you have to make it obvious that you are open to such connections by specifically engaging with them in open forum in a similar manner, so that they can respond if they want to, but there is no pressure either.
Also, things often happen very gradually over time, where a point approaches and someone would be surprised if you didn't contact them privately.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

Hello I would like people to know this thread is still around.

Do we have any planning on the friendship idea that would work like secret Santa?

@Sinkinshyp have you had any messages with people further to this? Anyone else have any update? Let's see if such a thing can come to be real. Sounds like it would be gratefully received by people.

As of now NO I have not received any messages from anyone interested yet...

@SlowMo & I have been discussing it. We have some details to work out.

To anyone who is interested please reach out to myself- @Sinkinshyp or to @SlowMo. It would be great if we have a list of those who would be interested in participating to begin. Hopefully it will be something that grows over time as well. For those in recovery having someone else to talk to can be very beneficial to them. It will connect people who normally would not reach out their secret santa and possibly forge new friendships a support person. You do not need to be in recovery to participate- even if you want to CTB you are welcome to join in. It may give you some helps as well.

Now- remember shoot a message to myself or @SlowMo so we can begin a list of those interested and we can work on the details.

Good luck everyone I hope you all have a great day.

DONT FORGET shoot me or @SlowMo a short message even just yes, I want in on the secret santa you guys are working on. It will give us a idea who many wish to join in.

Thank you SS

Get a room pls you two.

I wanna claim you @Mm80 as my secret support buddy you make me laugh! I'm half joking thought since it will be randomly decided who is to connect with whom... whoever gets you are lucky they will laugh a lot...

 

[LastFlowers]

I don't form those types of bonds here, I have no expectations of someone sticking around, and I am pretty despondent as someone who is facing my own demise. I mostly post on the forums and go about my business. I think my specific circumstance also proves to be a repellant to a lot of people here as I do not have a cute avatar/facade and make no omission regarding how that is also true to life. (Many are here for the wrong reasons..)
The few PMs I've gotten from people who have lead me to be more informed-and from those who unfortunately understand my specific situation-I do appreciate very much but even those people I have neglected to respond to properly because I'm on my way out and my mind is unable to cement any kind of relationship. I usually let them know as much, but still. Members with more hope or ties to this life would probably make better friends, but even they are not guaranteed to be around forever. It's not just death that can take them, but any other aspect of being overwhelmed in whatever has lead them to this site in the first place. Isolating and going MIA is par for the course and this site is no exception. So my answer to your question is..you can't. You can't protect yourself if you decide to put emotion and attachment into a friendship (or anything else) here, just appreciate them while they last, that's all I can suggest. (And be cautious with what you share.)

 

[W’ren]

I am looking to make some friends here but being older (46) it also seems to me that the majority of people seem to be a younger crew.

I am hoping to find some people to chat with who have lived some decades, though if the younger crew want to reach out to a woman as old as their mum, be my guest. I still feel like i'm an ancient soul who is perpetually 25... wish my body thought so too- (as long as my body was healthy at 25 which it wasn't)...

I also notice that not many people mention being from my general region, which kind of sucks when it comes to a potential future togetherness ctb. I'm not saying that's what i want... but i'm not entirely sure i don't want it? If that makes any sense at all...

I also don't go on the chat much- i'm too nervous because my hands tremor, and when i get nervous they tremor more- and i get anxious about saying the wrong thing and making a social mistake.

So i don't get chance to meet people there.

I'm not sure how making friends works here but this is me reaching out.

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm not sure how making friends works here but this is me reaching out.

Be a little bit cautious at first with anyone who you start chatting with. Don't give out name or location especially. Don't be too trusting. I've found a few who present as possible friends have ulterior motives that come out in time.

 

[W’ren]

Be a little bit cautious at first with anyone who you start chatting with. Don't give out name or location especially. Don't be too trusting. I've found a few who present as possible friends have ulterior motives that come out in time.

For sure. I've talked a bit with two people- but i've never given out name or location.
Thank you for your advice. :-)
One can't be too careful.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

That's hard for me because I'm extremely thin skinned and I'm extremely sensitive even though I'm older. I'm 50 something years old.

All right buds, this old dude is going to bed. Have a good night!

Goodnight grandpa

 

[BPD Barbie]

I think its hard as its human nature to form attachments to people. I speak to just a couple of people here on a regular basis and I know if they left, even if they just quit the forum, I would feel something. I wish I had some solid advice on how to deal with this, but sadly I don't. Just be cautious I suppose, don't throw yourself in too deep.

 

[Mm80]

As of now NO I have not received any messages from anyone interested yet...

@SlowMo & I have been discussing it. We have some details to work out.

To anyone who is interested please reach out to myself- @Sinkinshyp or to @SlowMo. It would be great if we have a list of those who would be interested in participating to begin. Hopefully it will be something that grows over time as well. For those in recovery having someone else to talk to can be very beneficial to them. It will connect people who normally would not reach out their secret santa and possibly forge new friendships a support person. You do not need to be in recovery to participate- even if you want to CTB you are welcome to join in. It may give you some helps as well.

Now- remember shoot a message to myself or @SlowMo so we can begin a list of those interested and we can work on the details.

Good luck everyone I hope you all have a great day.

DONT FORGET shoot me or @SlowMo a short message even just yes, I want in on the secret santa you guys are working on. It will give us a idea who many wish to join in.

Thank you SS

I wanna claim you @Mm80 as my secret support buddy you make me laugh! I'm half joking thought since it will be randomly decided who is to connect with whom... whoever gets you are lucky they will laugh a lot...

Thanks sinkinshyp that's a really nice thing to say. Made me happy.
I often think that I'm the only one who realises how funny I am. I'll often just lay in bed at night just laughing at all the hilarious things I've said or done that day.
When I turn the light out and try to get to sleep, I remember something funny from the day, that I've missed and burst out laughing again.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I often think that I'm the only one who realises how funny I am. I'll often just lay in bed at night just laughing at all the hilarious things I've said or done that day.

Oh wow, I thought it was only me who did that Irony bomb! Rawr!

 

[Ali]

Me cuesta comentar la publicación porque no hablo inglés perfectamente y uso google. Me gustaría charlar con alguien, tengo 25 años y vivo al otro lado del mundo para muchos de aquí. Soy mayor, estuve en el sitio hace 2 años pero luego no pude acceder y dejé de intentarlo, nuevamente suicida he vuelto con la idea de poder resolver las dudas de por qué antes mi método fallaba.

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I am looking to make some friends here but being older (46) it also seems to me that the majority of people seem to be a younger crew.

I am hoping to find some people to chat with who have lived some decades, though if the younger crew want to reach out to a woman as old as their mum, be my guest. I still feel like i'm an ancient soul who is perpetually 25... wish my body thought so too- (as long as my body was healthy at 25 which it wasn't)...

I also notice that not many people mention being from my general region, which kind of sucks when it comes to a potential future togetherness ctb. I'm not saying that's what i want... but i'm not entirely sure i don't want it? If that makes any sense at all...

I also don't go on the chat much- i'm too nervous because my hands tremor, and when i get nervous they tremor more- and i get anxious about saying the wrong thing and making a social mistake.

So i don't get chance to meet people there.

I'm not sure how making friends works here but this is me reaching out.

I'm in my late fifties and have found the younger members to be extremely welcoming, so don't let your age hinder your interactions. I find a keyboard to be the great equalizer when it comes to typical social interactions associated around age.

Also, I have been impressed to read many of the comments from some of the younger members. One of the wisest posts I've read was from an 18 year old. I've come to the conclusion that regardless of age many members here are self actualized, unlike the general population.

Goodnight grandpa

Grandpa? Lol Get with the program! Thanks to the generous spirit of @Maxtothemax I've been promoted to Great Grandpa.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

Grandpa? Lol Get with the program! Thanks to the generous spirit of @Maxtothemax I've been promoted to Great Grandpa.

Hi great gramps, not spoken to you in a few days. Hope you're doing well.

 

[W’ren]

I'm in my late fifties and have found the younger members to be extremely welcoming, so don't let your age hinder your interactions. I find a keyboard to be the great equalizer when it comes to typical social interactions associated around age.

Also, I have been impressed to read many of the comments from some of the younger members. One of the wisest posts I've read was from an 18 year old. I've come to the conclusion that regardless of age many members here are self actualized, unlike the general population.

I just wanted to say that i'm in no way disparaging the younger population as i've seen some posts of what some are going through and i know that everyone here is going through so incredibly much- And i too am impressed by everyone's wisdom and knowledge.

I am grateful to anyone who would reach out no matter their age group- i just wasn't sure if someone a great deal younger would necessarily want to talk with me. This is my first forum of this type, i did not want to step on any toes.

Everyone has been incredibly welcoming- and i appreciate that so much.

Thanks for reaching out! :-)