Name 1 thing you want do before you ctb.

[WorthlessTrash]

Travel, but i am pretty sure I am at the end of my rope.

 

[Rocinante]

Rent a boat and lie down in the middle of a river with the blazing sun beating down upon me

 

[Vizzy]

I want a good night sleep and meeting God in my dream once again.

I want good sleep, eat my favorite food, have a lot of sex, watch Netflix, make sure my ctb note reach others because I don't want to be rotten and finally do the ctb!

 

[leloyon]

Live in peace for a while. And prepare, of course.

 

[blank_slab]

Before i ctb i want to act in a big musical i'm talking broadway level it's my dream to be able to act in a musical that will influence people that the theatre isn't just some nerdy thing people do in high school but you know i'm not that good of an actor so chances are i'll ctb before i make it on the big stage :(

 

[timetodie24]

Nothing tbh. There's nothing I enjoy anymore so nothing worth doing.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't want and could never desire existence, existing in general just doesn't appeal to me. Sleeping is the best way to pass the time as it's the closest thing to being completely unaware, I only wish for nothingness, I certainly see existence as being a nightmare, it's an unnecessary disturbance in what otherwise would be the perfect state of nonexistence. The only true relief lies in being permanently gone.

 

[SoftWorries]

No, he'd never ctb (at least that's what he told me), meanwhile he's the main reason why I want to. Somehow I still wanted to spend my final moments with him though. Love can be a strange thing.

He sleeps like a rock which is why I was sure I could pull this off. Sleep deprivation from the MDMA would easily do the trick so he wouldn't notice until he woke up several hours later.

I really mean it when I say he sleeps like a rock. Waking him up (especially if he stayed up late) is incredibly difficult. I once tried to wake him up cause he was late for work or something by turning the lights on while putting both phones (going off on alarms) right next to his ears and shaking him aggressively. I also screamed at him while my cat attacked his feet (cause she hates the sound of alarms). It took me a solid 15minutes of this before he woke up. He slept for roughly 2-4 hours at that point and had a solid 4-6 hours of sleep the day before. He generally often sleeps through his alarms. I've tested this in the past. It's not like he turns them off either, he just continues sleeping right next to them for an hour or so (after that I usually go in and turned them off). I can clean the house, use the vacuum and do dishes while he's asleep. We do this on a daily basis.


I do not agree with the ADD/ADHD part, and I do have diagnosed ADD. The only thing I noticed is that I do not have comedowns no matter how much I take compared to my husband who doesn't have ADD/ADHD and usually gets comedowns.

Meanwhile food doesn't affect either of us and you usually don't get hungry on MDMA anyway.

We redose once or twice though. I also generally need more than my husband but that's the case for any drug. Even though my husband is taller and muscular and weighs more than me.

The part about SSRIs is true though, that's simply a fact.

t is people that have ADHD that have this issue. It's because of stimulants having a relaxing effect on people that have ADHD due to their specific brain chemistry. Exactly in the way Ritalin works for them. This is also the case for cocaine. People with ADHD don't feel the same effects or need much more of it for it to work.

I included ADD in there because while different it's possible to have ADHD issues with dopamine response while not having other overtly hyperactive tenancies.

When you say you need more from drugs than your taller heavier partner that tracks.

Food effects MDMA and that's why it's suggested to take it in a fasted state of 4-6 hours since meals. Once it's absorbed people can eat right away without it being an issue. If you have a large meal before hand it's not going to work.

Comedowns depends on the individual. Some people don't experience them. I don't experience them but I'm often suicidally depressed in any case so I don't have a large way to fall.

 

[Little_Suzy]

I'd want to do a mukbang with all of my favorite meals! I'm not sure how much food I can eat, but it will undoubtedly be an indulgence for me.

 

[endofafoxtwo]

I want to try a dose of psilocybin shrooms exeeding 5g. Id like to have a dream where I am a fox.

 

[UninformedLover]

Attend Avengers campus. Seems kinda of silly and maybe juvenile but I just love Marvel so much. But it seems unattainable so it just wishful thinking really.

 

[lovesickness]

I used to be apart of a small art group where people share their art. I always got positive feedback from everyone , but one day I just stopped drawing and never posted again. I really didn't think anyone would care, but I actually checked to see if anyone noticed my disappearance and someone mentioned that they miss me and my art and that I was their inspiration. It made me a little sad bc at this point I haven't drawn anything in the last 3-4 years. I guess my last thing is to create some art again. I doubt I will inspire anyone, but I hope maybe one person out there at least would treasure it when I'm gone.

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

Go to Malta

 

[Kittzuni]

I included ADD in there because while different it's possible to have ADHD issues with dopamine response while not having other overtly hyperactive tenancies.

When you say you need more from drugs than your taller heavier partner that tracks.

Food effects MDMA and that's why it's suggested to take it in a fasted state of 4-6 hours since meals. Once it's absorbed people can eat right away without it being an issue. If you have a large meal before hand it's not going to work.

Comedowns depends on the individual. Some people don't experience them. I don't experience them but I'm often suicidally depressed in any case so I don't have a large way to fall.

ADHD affects stimulants yes, that's why methamphetamine doesn't work on them like it's intended to but MDMA is more than just a stimulant. On top of that none of my friends with ADHD have ever reported that MDMA isn't working for them.

I also never said how much more I need, cause it's not that much. Just a little. But as I said that goes for anything, I have super high tolerances for everything, including normal meds or non stimulant drugs. Same goes for many of my female friends though, all of them have higher drug tolerances than their male friends/partners and they do not have ADHD.

How long the onset is gonna take depends on how you take it, yes that includes food or if you dissolve it first etc. but none of these things matter that much. You'll still be able to roll if you eat beforehand.

 

[SoftWorries]

ADHD affects stimulants yes, that's why methamphetamine doesn't work on them like it's intended to but MDMA is more than just a stimulant. On top of that none of my friends with ADHD have ever reported that MDMA isn't working for them.

I also never said how much more I need, cause it's not that much. Just a little. But as I said that goes for anything, I have super high tolerances for everything, including normal meds or non stimulant drugs. Same goes for many of my female friends though, all of them have higher drug tolerances than their male friends/partners and they do not have ADHD.

How long the onset is gonna take depends on how you take it, yes that includes food or if you dissolve it first etc. but none of these things matter that much. You'll still be able to roll if you eat beforehand.

I'm not here to argue your lived experiences and I'm glad it all works for you and your group. Just outside of your circle the things you're describing are not the norm nor are the best practices when it comes to using MDMA.

If you want to know more write exactly what you've written here on MDMA Reddit and ask for their input. Take care.

 

[Meatshell]

Just smile, knowing I won

 

[jaxxon_sunn]

It's a tie between having a picnic by myself and waiting on some of my favorite shows like Madoka Magica, Hanako-kun, and Blue Lock to release more content. They aren't desires strong enough to make me not want to CTB, but they're desires nonetheless ٩(๑`~´๑)۶

I love picnics mainly just sitting out in nature. Also Blue Lock is great. I started Hanoko kun but only got a few eps in, I really like it though and want to continue it once my burnout is over, same with madoka.

 

[just_so_done]

Attend Avengers campus. Seems kinda of silly and maybe juvenile but I just love Marvel so much. But it seems unattainable so it just wishful thinking really.

Wait is this a legit thing?!!! I love Marvel movies. I didn't really have anything I wanted to do before I ctb but this sounds cool.

Oh also definitely would love to do MDMA again after reading everyones replies. Just wish I had access to it. Only time I felt happy.

 

[GasMonkey]

Nothing that can realistically happen.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Master meditation and realize I've done the only thing worth doing - finding myself

 

[UninformedLover]

Wait is this a legit thing?!!! I love Marvel movies. I didn't really have anything I wanted to do before I ctb but this sounds cool.

Oh also definitely would love to do MDMA again after reading everyones replies. Just wish I had access to it. Only time I felt happy.

Yes!! It's like Disneyland but Marvel/MCU themed. It's in California and as new shows and movies come out they add new characters accordingly and adjust existing hero's superhero outfits. It just seems so awesome.

 

[Logic1]

watch toy story with my nanna. she's been begging me to watch it with her but I think when I'm finally ready to go, I'm going to watch it with her and tell her how much I love her.

the lady who put her life aside to raise me from a baby is the only person in the world who's getting a goodbye from me when the time comes.

 

[just_so_done]

Yes!! It's like Disneyland but Marvel/MCU themed. It's in California and as new shows and movies come out they add new characters accordingly and adjust existing hero's superhero outfits. It just seems so awesome.

Omg I want to go so badly, that sounds awesome! I mean my crippling anxiety and lack of funds make it impossible but if I manage to get some MDMA and rob a bank then we should definitely go lol

 

[Proxycake]

I want to be cut open by my lover.

 

[Kittzuni]

I'm not here to argue your lived experiences and I'm glad it all works for you and your group. Just outside of your circle the things you're describing are not the norm nor are the best practices when it comes to using MDMA.

If you want to know more write exactly what you've written here on MDMA Reddit and ask for their input. Take care.

I already have and I in fact even met some of those friends on that subreddit.

Take care.

 

[unnormal9]

Nothing.

 

[leavingsoon99]

Create an animated short.

 

[never mind me]

For me it seems that as long as I still have things I wish to do (and am not unable to do them because of physical discapacity) I will not ctb anyway. Thinking about stuff I still wish to do basically makes it impossible for me to kill myself. And if I do something I still have left to do it would make me feel so good, that I don't want to die anymore for a while. That's probably why I'm still here after having suicidal ideation on and off for most of my life, I always had stuff I still wanted to do (like living abroad and travelling) which prevented me from killing myself and once I did these things I was happy enough for a while that I didn't want to die anymore. And when suicidal ideation came back I thought that I should travel more before I kill myself. So much more travel is the thing I want to do before I ctb.

 

[vindica]

I'd like to give urban exploration a try and travel somewhere at night. It may help me find a peaceful place to CTB.

 

[charlotte_]

I wanna try to publish a great book and gain some audience. I know I'll be unconcious once I'm dead, but it's still comforting knowing that I made a somewhat nice impression in people's eyes.