My time is coming up

[timetogo15]

I have secured what I needed for SN. I also have a 9mm that I will use after taking the SN. Essentially making sure this doesn't fail.

My family will be out most of October. My ex-fiancé and I are officially 5 weeks without talking and it seems to be getting clearer and clearer she wants nothing to do with me anymore.

I had a family day at the beach today and all I could think about was CBT. I'm so glad things are finally getting into place

SI is still somewhat with me but the pain I feel being on this earth is 10X worse. I wish life wasn't like this. It felt like I had everything a few years ago. Now it feels like I have nothing.

My next post will probably be my last post. It will happen on October. I'm in the process of writing all my notes.

I wish I could talk to my ex one more time but I don't think it's meant to be.

Thank you for y'all's continued support.

 

[lost1]

I'm sorry for your pain My thoughts are with you

 

[lonelygirl111]

im sorry your going through this. it's clear your in so much pain. i hope in the coming days you find peace and comfort and i hope your decisions bring you freedom. i know you want to ctb but if you begin to change your mind i sincerely hope your ex can reconcile with you, if not you deserve to leave in peace. life shouldn't be painful.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry like has brought you to this point. One thought: If you take the SN and then shoot yourself with your 9mm, the whole SN thing is kinda moot. If you die from the self-inflicted gunshot wound, body functions cease, and SN absorption will stop. However, if you don't die right away from the gunshot wound, I can kinda see your logic in taking the SN first. No matter what happens, I hope you can get to your place of peace.

 

[theboy]

find peace, bro. Whatever you decide

 

[farakini]

If only you could take me with you. I wish for you a peaceful journey and complete relief from your suffering.

 

[Astronauta]

Viagem tranquila amigo!
Que o outro lado seja gentil com você.

 

[makethepainstop]

If only you could take me with you. I wish for you a peaceful journey and complete relief from your suffering.

ME TOO ME TOO! I'll go really I will!

 

[hatehypocrisy]

Good luck!

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really is so cruel and it sounds like you have suffered a lot. I wish you freedom from all pain.

 

[Zhendou]

Good luck and safe travels.

 

[outrider567]

I have secured what I needed for SN. I also have a 9mm that I will use after taking the SN. Essentially making sure this doesn't fail.

My family will be out most of October. My ex-fiancé and I are officially 5 weeks without talking and it seems to be getting clearer and clearer she wants nothing to do with me anymore.

I had a family day at the beach today and all I could think about was CBT. I'm so glad things are finally getting into place

SI is still somewhat with me but the pain I feel being on this earth is 10X worse. I wish life wasn't like this. It felt like I had everything a few years ago. Now it feels like I have nothing.

My next post will probably be my last post. It will happen on October. I'm in the process of writing all my notes.

I wish I could talk to my ex one more time but I don't think it's meant to be.

Thank you for y'all's continued support.

'The pain I feel' Yes being on this Earth is indeed ten times worse than any SI inclination for me also... since January--I also feel, since her death, that I possess nothing ,I enjoy nothing, I want nothing because without her sharing anything with me, all is quite pointless...just killing time, waiting for the golden moment when I will join her, since her permanent absence remains a constant nightmare for me