One of the most discussed things in my therapy is the sense of urgency that I have and how I constantly feel I'm losing time while I put my life on hold to live as a depressed loner. My therapist says this rush is detrimental to the healing process and will only cause more pain. Ok, I understand it perfectly, but this information hurts me so much. The idea that I have to accept that I won't be getting better anytime soon, not in the next month and not in the next 6 months. I've been depressed for the past 4 years, but it's been manageable for the most time. Now, it's killing me. I'm so sad, I just want to die. I'm under a strict suicide watch but I'm now considering hanging with bed sheets even if t's incredibly dangerous. I'm beyond hopeless.
