My roommate walked in on me trying to hang myself. I'm worried I traumatized him

[Lily6759]

Last night I was trying to hang myself while my roommates were asleep, and failed due to si and a friend messaging me, wanting to talk about something irrelevant. Today I tried again, and while on the brink of passing out, my roommate opened my door, potentially due to noise?
I managed to recover myself and close my door on him, but he saw everything he needed to. He later messaged me asking if I was ok, threatening to call people if I do it again, and telling me how much it fucked him up seeing that.

I don't have issues with trying again, as I'm home fairly often when he isn't, but I don't want him to be hurt by this, even if he would be hurt once I'm dead.


Does anyone have advice on how I could help him deal with what he saw?

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I don't think there's anything you can personally do. I think this is something he'd need therapy to get help for.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

Last night I was trying to hang myself while my roommates were asleep, and failed due to si and a friend messaging me, wanting to talk about something irrelevant. Today I tried again, and while on the brink of passing out, my roommate opened my door, potentially due to noise?
I managed to recover myself and close my door on him, but he saw everything he needed to. He later messaged me asking if I was ok, threatening to call people if I do it again, and telling me how much it fucked him up seeing that.

I don't have issues with trying again, as I'm home fairly often when he isn't, but I don't want him to be hurt by this, even if he would be hurt once I'm dead.


Does anyone have advice on how I could help him deal with what he saw?

if you do it now, and he didn't get anyone, he'll feel really guilty

try to wait for a while or tell him you are getting therapy or something so he will feel less bad

this will understandably fuck him up, the more he can tell himself he thought you were okay the less guilt he'll feel

it's an awful situation, the decent thing to do is to wait after this, even a period of months, get therapy for a session or two, tell him you're getting therapy, and then if you still want to do it, don't do it in the place where he's living...

this is not meant as encouragement... but don't do this around him if he's being nice enough not to get the police

 

[Lily6759]

if you do it now, and he didn't get anyone, he'll feel really guilty

try to wait for a while or tell him you are getting therapy or something so he will feel less bad

this will understandably fuck him up, the more he can tell himself he thought you were okay the less guilt he'll feel

it's an awful situation

I'll tell him that I'll look into anti-depressants again and consider getting a therapist. I think that will help him settle a little. Thanks for the idea.

I don't think there's anything you can personally do. I think this is something he'd need therapy to get help for.

He does have a therapist, and I've made sure that he plans to talk to them about it. But I don't know when his next session will be, or how much it will help.

 

[Upon a hanging Body]

Nothing you really can do .

 

[Tinyhands]

I do think its important that if u were to do it again, you should definitely do it somewhere where he wont personally find you. If his mental state is important to you.

 

[hippiedeath]

You need to do it privately, not near someone who may find you. If someone interrupts your attempt before you're gone, it could leave you brain damaged.

 

[kopebaldy]

My 2nd biggest concern regarding suicide, I don't wanna traumatize anyone be it a random hiker, a hotel staff or my family.

But options are limited and well... I've come to accept that as long as my nephews don't see my corpse, I'm ok. Sorry random hotel staff.

 

[brighteyesfan144]

My 2nd biggest concern regarding suicide, I don't wanna traumatize anyone be it a random hiker, a hotel staff or my family.

But options are limited and well... I've come to accept that as long as my nephews don't see my corpse, I'm ok. Sorry random hotel staff.

Hotel staff need to be mentally ready, trained and prepared for such situations.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I think your roommate is probably somewhere confused, upset, distraught, and overwhelmed with what he witnessed. We have to remember a lot of people don't understand us, or could even imagine doing what he seen. I would definitely have a sit-down conversation with him and 1st apologize to him. Remember your roommate is probably having an ethical dilemma on what to do. If I were your roommate, I wouldn't return back there.

Maybe apologize and try to explain this was a one time thing you tried and on Monday you will seek therapy and if they prescribe medication you will do whatever they want of you. It's probably a lie and trust me I want to check-out too but not to hurt others more than it needs to be. I would definitely ask did he tell anyone? Get rid of that noose and fix yourself up in case someone stops by that he called on you!

If and when the time comes again, please don't do it there. Your roommate will always feel such a significant guilt for not reaching out to help you or completely ignoring what he seen. Either way, he won't ever forget today, how he comes with it is on him. I assume some therapy will be needed for him.

As for you, I'm sorry that happened. You have to be very careful next time.

 

[Worndown]

The only good part of this is if he comes home and sees a warning note on your door, he will know.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

You need to do it privately, not near someone who may find you. If someone interrupts your attempt before you're gone, it could leave you brain damaged.

this is a really good point, being stopped but sustaining brain damage due to lack of oxygen (and possibly being unable to commit suicide after) is valid fear.

 

[Lily6759]

Hotel staff need to be mentally ready, trained and prepared for such situations.

I actually used to work as hotel staff myself. It might just be where I'm from, but there is no training for walking in on a dead body. Most staff would likely be effected by it, but it happens, and you see a lot of different things there. Worst case is they get a different job and a bit of therapy.

I do think its important that if u were to do it again, you should definitely do it somewhere where he wont personally find you. If his mental state is important to you.

I don't think he would enter my bedroom without valid concern. So i must have made a bit of noise.
If i did it while he wasnt home he should be fine. I have another roommate id consider leaving a note for in their room instead if i was to do it at home, just so they know not to let the other one know. He would be a bit more resilient I believe

 

[Daphne]

Can you move out? Or at least do the deed somewhere else.
I feel for your roommate. He is probably stressing out every time he comes home now, afraid to find your dead body.
Really not fair to him

 

[theboy]

Talk to him

 

[dontwakemeup]

How is your roommate doing now? I'm sure there is an award silence between you both. Did you ever talk to him after this? I'm sorry he had to see that and just curious to how he's doing? I wonder did he report you or not?

 

[Lily6759]

How is your roommate doing now? I'm sure there is an award silence between you both. Did you ever talk to him after this? I'm sorry he had to see that and just curious to how he's doing? I wonder did he report you or not?

He hasn't spoken to me in person. He seems ok now. I can hear him talking with friends and doing games and things with them in a call. We had a normal conversation over messages as well earlier today.
He has not reported me, but I do believe his threat of reporting me if I do it again when he's around, so I won't be attempting while he's home or any time around it.

 

[cookiencream]

if you do it now, and he didn't get anyone, he'll feel really guilty

try to wait for a while or tell him you are getting therapy or something so he will feel less bad

this will understandably fuck him up, the more he can tell himself he thought you were okay the less guilt he'll feel

I can imagine that could make it worse too...because then they'd feel guilty for not knowing you were lying. Or for not doing more. Sucks to say but when you kill yourself there's nothing you can do to lessen the blow besides financially. You don't exactly know how anyone around you will react so you can't use those potential reactions to try and do damage control beforehand.