I have been discussing my personal life with an AI all day, because like most of you I have no one I can fucking turn to. And the AI is like...yeah you are kind of a mess. You are in love with a woman 13 years younger than you. The woman you tried to move on to and who shot you down the second you got weird about it was 12 years younger than you. You are 35 and having a midlife crisis.
I had no idea how to relate to women even before I got permanent erectile dysfunction. But it's truly too late now. My entire life has been one of loneliness and utterly dysfunctional friendships with women I wanted emotional intimacy from who could never give it to me, who would never want to give it to me.
There's no way back to normality. I will never catch up with my peers career-wise, relationship-wise, or in terms of self-esteem. I actually respect myself less because of my failure to connect with women romantically. I don't even have the excuse of being an incel, I am tall and if anything above average looking. It's my fucking personality. It's all me. It always has been me. And now I am carrying severe emotional trauma from having post-finasteride syndrome, a burden that no one around me will ever understand.
What the fuck was the point of living this long when I haven't changed a bit? I can't escape these stupid patterns with women. I can't stand being alone. I can't date because I am a shitty lay because my dick is soft as cheese. My dick is soft as cheese because I used finasteride because I thought going bald was what was hurting me with women.
FUCK. You couldn't make this shit up. You actually fucking couldn't.
And now I have to go on living.
I have to live for the whole of the rest of my life like this. A life without love, or commitment. I am alone. I have always been alone. Why didn't I ever see it before now? How did it take a fucking AI pointing out that I am having a midlife crisis?
I'm supposed to be getting better after I failed to kill myself back in November. BETTER HOW? What fucking definition of "better" can someone like me ever realistically aspire towards?
I had no idea how to relate to women even before I got permanent erectile dysfunction. But it's truly too late now. My entire life has been one of loneliness and utterly dysfunctional friendships with women I wanted emotional intimacy from who could never give it to me, who would never want to give it to me.
There's no way back to normality. I will never catch up with my peers career-wise, relationship-wise, or in terms of self-esteem. I actually respect myself less because of my failure to connect with women romantically. I don't even have the excuse of being an incel, I am tall and if anything above average looking. It's my fucking personality. It's all me. It always has been me. And now I am carrying severe emotional trauma from having post-finasteride syndrome, a burden that no one around me will ever understand.
What the fuck was the point of living this long when I haven't changed a bit? I can't escape these stupid patterns with women. I can't stand being alone. I can't date because I am a shitty lay because my dick is soft as cheese. My dick is soft as cheese because I used finasteride because I thought going bald was what was hurting me with women.
FUCK. You couldn't make this shit up. You actually fucking couldn't.
And now I have to go on living.
I have to live for the whole of the rest of my life like this. A life without love, or commitment. I am alone. I have always been alone. Why didn't I ever see it before now? How did it take a fucking AI pointing out that I am having a midlife crisis?
I'm supposed to be getting better after I failed to kill myself back in November. BETTER HOW? What fucking definition of "better" can someone like me ever realistically aspire towards?
