Venting My recent experiences and how I've felt

[blackjack711]

Life as of late has actually gotten better for me, I've not been on as much of a dark spiral as before. I no longer come home and drink till I go numb, I wasn't sure if this should go into the recovery forum of not seeing as I do certainly still want to die and because of the reason I've felt so much better. I've taken up the practice of flagellation, I've been suffering from chronic pain since I was about twelve and busted up my knee doing sports. It feels so rapturous to finally be the one who decides how much pain I feel and for what reason, each tender kiss of the lash on my back takes away the dark thoughts and it's amazing. I've been considering another attempt less every day and I'm even doing better at work to the point my boss noticed and wanted to talk with me beyond just the normal head nod and good morning I'd get before.

I'm drunk right now so I might not reply to comments here but I'll try. Thank you for listening to my rambling

 

[Biblom2000]

Es bueno que te sientas mejor pero no creo que estés mejorando, te autoflagelas solo para sentir que tienes un poco de control en tu vida, además eres adicta al alcohol, es una buena manera de lidiar con el dolor pero no una buena manera de afrontar la vida. Al menos has visto algo bueno en tu día como que te hablen.

 

[blackjack711]

Es bueno que te sientas mejor pero no creo que estés mejorando, te autoflagelas solo para sentir que tienes un poco de control en tu vida, además eres adicta al alcohol, es una buena manera de lidiar con el dolor pero no una buena manera de afrontar la vida. Al menos has visto algo bueno en tu día como que te hablen.

Es por eso que no me sentí cómoda publicando esto en recuperación, sé que estoy desesperada y solo estoy tratando de aliviar mi sufrimiento, pero al menos no quiero morir.

 

[Biblom2000]

Es por eso que no me sentí cómoda publicando esto en recuperación, sé que estoy desesperada y solo estoy tratando de aliviar mi sufrimiento, pero al menos no quiero morir.

That's good, at least you have something and I'm happy to read something like that here, you have something that not many of us here have, the will to want to live, as long as you have it you will find a solution.

 

[2messdup]

That's good, at least you have something and I'm happy to read something like that here, you have something that not many of us here have, the will to want to live, as long as you have it you will find a solution.

Now that is the truth