Venting My psychologist is the only reason why I'm willing to live a bit more

[tiltedcompass]

I don't really do anything with my life, I'm horribly anxious and depressed and go outside maybe once a week, maybe less. Ironically, my house feels like a prison full of negativity.

So knowing I'll be able to vent for a full hour to a stranger makes me a bit more willing to live. I'm not sure if it's hope, or maybe just an excuse for me to go outside as well but I like it even if this doesn't lead anywhere and end up ending it
I'll also see my psychiatrist next week so hopefully there's a change in meds. Not many suicidal thoughts but still attempted recently, let's see how that goes

 

[Mr.Tristesse]

Just getting out of the house and interacting with people can be one of the simple benefits of seeing a professional.

What do you think about telling them about your attempt? Can you share a little more about what happened if you want?

 

[HangMan123]

For me it's the opposite. I'm too anxious and dread mine, haha. I lie to her a lot about my feelings, but I'm there for anxiety and not depression so ig it's fine.
But honestly it makes me want to CTB more because of how expensive it is and I really don't think it'll work. Plus I know I'm going to kill myself anyway, so the money is going down the drain.
I'm glad for you; hopefully I can become less anxious around mine like you are.

 

[tiltedcompass]

Just getting out of the house and interacting with people can be one of the simple benefits of seeing a professional.

What do you think about telling them about your attempt? Can you share a little more about what happened if you want?

Oh, I would never tell them about the attempt. Mostly because I'm terribly scared of being put in a mental ward, and because my suicide attempt wasn't as "bad" as it sounds, so to speak.
I tried to do partial hanging but the piece of cloth didn't really work at choking me, and I untied the knot after several minutes. I did have the intention to die but it was impulsive and didn't really do any damage.

And I agree, even going out to see my therapists makes me feel a bit better. Maybe I like it too because I get to talk to more people outside of my circle.

For me it's the opposite. I'm too anxious and dread mine, haha. I lie to her a lot about my feelings, but I'm there for anxiety and not depression so ig it's fine.
But honestly it makes me want to CTB more because of how expensive it is and I really don't think it'll work. Plus I know I'm going to kill myself anyway, so the money is going down the drain.
I'm glad for you; hopefully I can become less anxious around mine like you are.

That's alright, I hide things to mine as well, such as my attempts. Not because I don't trust her but because I don't want to be put in a mental ward (they can't force me but if they recommend me to go I'd probably have a mental breakdown or something)
I understand the financial pressure, in fact I had to pay a lot in the past just to have bad experiences with therapists who did nothing to help. Thankfully there's free healthcare in my country and after waiting for around 6 months I finally managed to get new therapists.
I don't know where you're from but I hope you're able to find a similar type of support. And I'm happy that you still go to your sessions, they can be quite cathartic and relieving even if it doesn't seem that way at first.