My problems are so small to others

[bl33ding_heart]

Other people always trivialise my problems and tell me they can't be that bad, and I can get better. Even though I have a lifelong personality disorder that will never go away. And will affect the most important aspects of my life until I die. I get that a person without bpd will never be able to understand what it feels like to live with this disorder. I've kind of accepted that, but to have the very thing that has ruined my life and will probably kill me someday be watered down so much just seriously pisses me off. In my opinion it's just as bad as telling someone with stage 4 cancer that they will be fine and they can get better. Because for most of us we absolutely aren't fine and bpd is lifelong. Not a temporary condition that can be cured. I had a friend tell me his problems are objectively way worse than mine, meanwhile I have 2 unbearable lifelong disorders and he doesn't even have one. And this isnt to minimise his problems, but just to put into perspective how stupid it is to underestimate pain that you can't understand. And I had another person tell me I was just bullshitting myself when I was talking about how I physically can't move on from my fp because of my bpd. And he kept trying to tell me I shouldn't kill myself and it will get better for me, despite being suicidal and considering suicide on a daily basis himself. People are genuinely so fucking annoying when it comes to cluster b disorders and I'm so tired of it. Like please either genuinely educate yourself before speaking on bpd or shut the fuck up.

 

[.idiot]

Why are you friends with someone if they just blatantly disrespect you like that?

Additionally- what even happened with your FP to make him distance himself from you?

 

[Hollowman]

Once I gave up on trying to be understood by anyone life got a little better.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Why are you friends with someone if they just blatantly disrespect you like that?

Additionally- what even happened with your FP to make him distance himself from you?

It's not that easy to cut people off, especially when you have a lot of mutual friends. And my fp didn't really distance themself from me. I distanced myself from them because they treated me like shit.

 

[.idiot]

It's not that easy to cut people off, especially when you have a lot of mutual friends. And my fp didn't really distance themself from me. I distanced myself from them because they treated me like shit.

You can't move on from someone who treated you terribly? I heard before BPD was bad, but damn. If that's the kind of shit you have to deal with, I can see how it is on par with other lifelong disorders like ADHD and autism. Is it even possible for you to potentially find a new FP to cope, or no, are you permafucked?

 

[bl33ding_heart]

You can't move on from someone who treated you terribly? I heard before BPD was bad, but damn. If that's the kind of shit you have to deal with, I can see how it is on par with other lifelong disorders like ADHD and autism. Is it even possible for you to potentially find a new FP to cope, or no, are you permafucked?

I don't know, I've had other fps in the past. But one singular fp usually lasts around a year. It always ends horribly, and I'm tired of this seemingly never ending cycle of falling in love just to be treated horribly or abandoned.

 

[.idiot]

I don't know, I've had other fps in the past. But one singular fp usually lasts around a year. It always ends horribly, and I'm tired of this seemingly never ending cycle of falling in love just to be treated horribly or abandoned.

So there's no real escape for the cycle, except for the hopes of ending up with a FP that actually likes you back and treats you nicely? Like just playing a slot machine over and over again in the hopes of getting a triple seven, except you get treated like a person instead of winning a load of money.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

So there's no real escape for the cycle, except for the hopes of ending up with a FP that actually likes you back and treats you nicely? Like just playing a slot machine over and over again in the hopes of getting a triple seven, except you get treated like a person instead of winning a load of money.

Whats the point in doing that if it's gonna be unbearably painful over and over again, and the chances of me finding a decent person that I love is low. I don't have the energy to be gut wrenchingly heartbroken anymore.

 

[.idiot]

Whats the point in doing that if it's gonna be unbearably painful over and over again, and the chances of me finding a decent person that I love is low. I don't have the energy to be gut wrenchingly heartbroken anymore.

I don't know. I can't give much insight into this, as I'm kind of in the opposite situation as you (have never once been in love)- all I can really offer is shallow sympathy. Feel free to rant at me whenever you feel like it via the conversation feature or whatever, if it makes you feel better.