Venting My Partner died of SN today

[opheliaoveragain]

So so sorry to hear youre going through this, whenever you're ready, people are here to hold space for you and listen to you <3 Sending you so many hugs.

 

[HeartThatFeeds]

Yeah, that is a very harrowing experience, and must be very hard to get through it...

I wish his suffering came to an end, and I wish all the strength for you, you will need it. Go to a shrink if you dont take meds yet, take benzos and antidepressants, benzos will at least dull the emotional pain in next days. Dont take them longer than for 2 weeks at a time.
Unless you dont give a shit and want to join him soon, then I am even more sorry for you...


This forum has many uplifting stories of people CTB on their own terms, but at the same time is full of those experiences, which are hard to put into words..


Be strong, at least try to...

They perscribed me benzos yesterday, but honestly knowing how easy a benzo od could be, it's giving me a lot of mixed thoughts, especially because they put me on another antihistamine that doubles as an antiaenemic, it just sounds extremely ironic that the two medications that can be used for sh where given to me on a platter after my partner quite literally died from it

 

[heavyeyes]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one suddenly and without warning is incredibly difficult and traumatic. Grief counseling can be helpful. I'm sending you lots of strength ❤

 

[TheBlackSwordsman]

My deepest sympathies.

 

[Romanticize]

They perscribed me benzos yesterday, but honestly knowing how easy a benzo od could be, it's giving me a lot of mixed thoughts, especially because they put me on another antihistamine that doubles as an antiaenemic, it just sounds extremely ironic that the two medications that can be used for sh where given to me on a platter after my partner quite literally died from it

Use the benzo, in prescribed amounts - I dunno what kind of benzo you got but like xanax for example, you can easily use 0,5 - 2mg, Klonopin similar 1-2mg is enough, Diazepam [Valium] : 2-10mg etc.
Don't be scared about OD: it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to OD benzo alone. Of course if you add other strong depressants (antihistamines are weak, dont be scared) but if you mixed benzo with strong CNS depressants like alcohol or opioids, then there is this exponential effect, very synergistic, and ONLY THEN significant OD risk is present.

Dont be scared to use benzos, they are especially prescribed for this kind of situation you are in.
But they dull the emotions and it's easy to become dependend on them. Better not use them on daily basis [only when you have trouble sleeping, or panic/anxiety attack, like you are crying and can't hold yourself back], and try not to use more than 2 weeks continuously [daily], or more than 4 weeks [once every few days].

Eventually you should taper off benzo [slowly reduce doses to 0]. I didnt and Im addicted to opioids and benzos.

 

[white_petals]

sending hugs, and I hope wherever he is, he's at peace

 

[MyPoorKids]

My partner died by taking a small amount of SN, along with his medication. I tried to tell him not to and I know that may be hypocritical considering my own presence on this forum, but he was a wonderful soul, he didn't deserve the pain he suffered, he deserved a long happy life, but unfortunately his life was cut too short after an impulsive attempt, I was with him on call, I urged him to call ambulance, but he didn't make it by the time they arrived, I heard him convulse and he was unresponsive after that. He told me he was scared, I just hope he didn't die scared.

May he rest in peace.

This it's so awful. I'm so sorry

 

[Gone soon]

Sorry for your loss. I hope he didn't suffer too much and he found peace

 

[NoPoint280491]

Sorry for your loss... I intend to go next and can't imagine

 

[skatergirl]

My partner died by taking a small amount of SN, along with his medication. I tried to tell him not to and I know that may be hypocritical considering my own presence on this forum, but he was a wonderful soul, he didn't deserve the pain he suffered, he deserved a long happy life, but unfortunately his life was cut too short after an impulsive attempt, I was with him on call, I urged him to call ambulance, but he didn't make it by the time they arrived, I heard him convulse and he was unresponsive after that. He told me he was scared, I just hope he didn't die scared.

May he rest in peace.

Did it seem like it hurt him may he rest in peace

 

[maniac116]

I'm so sorry for your loss & hope you're able to process it all & come out of this bad situation for the better. CTB is a way out for us, but not for those we leave behind. They are sometimes left with pain, questions & confusion.
I hope you can find a way to find at least some closure & can get on with life in the future.
I'm so sorry for your obvious pain