Açucarzinho583
com café!
- Sep 14, 2023
- 19
I am 18 years old. I went through physical abuse, emotional turbulence, and suicidal thoughts during high school due to a stressful environment. I had some unsuccessful suicide attempts, and lately, I've been dealing with a lot of stress, depression, and self-harm. My parents recently discovered my scars but didn't say much about it.
I write my suicide plans in a notebook. I threw away some pages of my older plans. My father ended up finding everything when he was taking out the trash. We had guests at home when he found out, so, first, he told my mother, and then he approached me and said, "Have you ever thought about killing yourself?" When he said that, I hadn't realized he had found out, so I simply replied with a no. They waited for the guests to leave to confront me. I ended up confessing all my intentions to them. A big mistake!
They scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist. I said I would go but wouldn't say a word. The psychiatrist didn't even talk to my psychologist; he just listened to my parents' version and said, "I've seen this many times," "He's clearly delusional," and finally, he said, for my protection, it was better to admit me to a psychiatric hospital. I was very angry because he assumed my case was the same as others and said I was delusional without any follow-up or consulting my psychologist.
Days passed until my parents said there would be another appointment. In the car, they stopped at my biological father's house and said he would accompany the appointment. Suspicious, I grabbed my mother's phone and found out it was all a lie; they were taking me to the psychiatric hospital. I could only say phrases like "You are not my real parents," "When I get out of there, I'll hate you forever."
Inside the hospital, I began fantasizing about wanting to escape. Until a miracle happened. It turns out that in a psychiatric hospital, someone needs to take care of you. My parents didn't know that. Since they were going to work the next day, they couldn't admit me. Truly a miracle.
In the end, I didn't end up being admitted, but I have to take medication that I have no idea what they do.
I write my suicide plans in a notebook. I threw away some pages of my older plans. My father ended up finding everything when he was taking out the trash. We had guests at home when he found out, so, first, he told my mother, and then he approached me and said, "Have you ever thought about killing yourself?" When he said that, I hadn't realized he had found out, so I simply replied with a no. They waited for the guests to leave to confront me. I ended up confessing all my intentions to them. A big mistake!
They scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist. I said I would go but wouldn't say a word. The psychiatrist didn't even talk to my psychologist; he just listened to my parents' version and said, "I've seen this many times," "He's clearly delusional," and finally, he said, for my protection, it was better to admit me to a psychiatric hospital. I was very angry because he assumed my case was the same as others and said I was delusional without any follow-up or consulting my psychologist.
Days passed until my parents said there would be another appointment. In the car, they stopped at my biological father's house and said he would accompany the appointment. Suspicious, I grabbed my mother's phone and found out it was all a lie; they were taking me to the psychiatric hospital. I could only say phrases like "You are not my real parents," "When I get out of there, I'll hate you forever."
Inside the hospital, I began fantasizing about wanting to escape. Until a miracle happened. It turns out that in a psychiatric hospital, someone needs to take care of you. My parents didn't know that. Since they were going to work the next day, they couldn't admit me. Truly a miracle.
In the end, I didn't end up being admitted, but I have to take medication that I have no idea what they do.
