GoodPersonEffed
Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
- Jan 11, 2020
- 6,727
I have posted about my struggles with whether to leave instructions to help my parents with the post-ctb responsibilities. I have not posted about my struggles regarding how the owner of the property where I plan to ctb will be impacted.
I am highly ethical, but often at my own expense. I seek to not practice revenge. I seek to manage my own responsibilities while practicing healthy boundaries against those who dont. I finally found balance. All I have left to do is wait for my method to arrive.
Parents
Did some research, discovered the next of kin can refuse responsibility for managing the estate or holding a funeral. So I no longer need to put forth any effort toward leaving instructions when, as usual, they will protect themselves and refuse responsibility anyway.
My parents chose to stop speaking to me many years ago for calling out abuse and demanding they take responsibility for their actions. They told me goodbye via email, included their pets in the signature. But a couple years ago, my mother posted a 30-year old photo of her and I as her Facebook profile photo, getting all these likes and loves and comments, including a comment from the woman who threw the function. My mother replied, "We still thank you for it!" (I emailed her a demand she delete the photo or I would explain the actual status of our relationship to everyone who liked and commented on the photo, and sent screenshots. She deleted.) I assume an obit or funeral would be quite inconvenient for my parents. In fact my being gone is more to their advantage. Fortunately, I do not want an obituary anyway.
CTB Location
I rent a furnished apartment from a real estate development firm. I negotiated a better rate with the company's representative to extend my lease. He agreed, then charged the higher rate he originally asked for and I'd said no to. The outside company who manages the advertising and payments took the representative's side in spite of the email where he said he agreed. He had advertised the apartment had a washing machine, and I asked him direct questions about it before moving in, he assured me it was in the unit's laundry room. Of course there was no washing machine in the unit or on site. He claimed it was a translation problem, and that the building manager doing it for a fee could be construed as a washing machine on site. So I bought one. I would destroy it, but if I survive, no washing machine. The owner has been a narcissistic ass the entire time, I strictly limit contact with him and his flying monkey building manager.
I've expended a lot of stress and effort in considering the penalty for early lease termination and how to ensure it's paid; denying my comfort by ctb'ing in the bathroom so as not to do damage; cleaning the apartment; packing the belongings that no one will claim and have no sentimental or resale value; and the biggest thing...
I can all but ensure I will not be rescued. The flying monkey lives off site 90 minutes away. There are two bolts on the door, one with an interior safety latch. It will require a strong, thin electric saw to get through the safety bolt, or removal of the door frame. I was actually weighing the assurance of the safety bolt against the cost to the owner to get through it.
The owner made more than the early termination penalty in overcharging me. (Early termination, haha.) They get a free washing machine. They can replace the matress and clean the fucking apartment -- I paid a cleaning fee, and when I moved in I had to clean up some shit the flying monkey didn't. So fuck them. Lesson learned for the owner about the security bolt. Lesson learned when they approach the estate for fees and damages and find how far back in line they are behind other creditors who won't get shit.
It feels so good to not being carrying responsibility any more for those who don't take responsibility for themselves. Just reading books and chilling on SS until...the early termination date.
P.S. Please, no debates about my decisions. They are firm and feel great.
I am highly ethical, but often at my own expense. I seek to not practice revenge. I seek to manage my own responsibilities while practicing healthy boundaries against those who dont. I finally found balance. All I have left to do is wait for my method to arrive.
Parents
Did some research, discovered the next of kin can refuse responsibility for managing the estate or holding a funeral. So I no longer need to put forth any effort toward leaving instructions when, as usual, they will protect themselves and refuse responsibility anyway.
My parents chose to stop speaking to me many years ago for calling out abuse and demanding they take responsibility for their actions. They told me goodbye via email, included their pets in the signature. But a couple years ago, my mother posted a 30-year old photo of her and I as her Facebook profile photo, getting all these likes and loves and comments, including a comment from the woman who threw the function. My mother replied, "We still thank you for it!" (I emailed her a demand she delete the photo or I would explain the actual status of our relationship to everyone who liked and commented on the photo, and sent screenshots. She deleted.) I assume an obit or funeral would be quite inconvenient for my parents. In fact my being gone is more to their advantage. Fortunately, I do not want an obituary anyway.
CTB Location
I rent a furnished apartment from a real estate development firm. I negotiated a better rate with the company's representative to extend my lease. He agreed, then charged the higher rate he originally asked for and I'd said no to. The outside company who manages the advertising and payments took the representative's side in spite of the email where he said he agreed. He had advertised the apartment had a washing machine, and I asked him direct questions about it before moving in, he assured me it was in the unit's laundry room. Of course there was no washing machine in the unit or on site. He claimed it was a translation problem, and that the building manager doing it for a fee could be construed as a washing machine on site. So I bought one. I would destroy it, but if I survive, no washing machine. The owner has been a narcissistic ass the entire time, I strictly limit contact with him and his flying monkey building manager.
I've expended a lot of stress and effort in considering the penalty for early lease termination and how to ensure it's paid; denying my comfort by ctb'ing in the bathroom so as not to do damage; cleaning the apartment; packing the belongings that no one will claim and have no sentimental or resale value; and the biggest thing...
I can all but ensure I will not be rescued. The flying monkey lives off site 90 minutes away. There are two bolts on the door, one with an interior safety latch. It will require a strong, thin electric saw to get through the safety bolt, or removal of the door frame. I was actually weighing the assurance of the safety bolt against the cost to the owner to get through it.
The owner made more than the early termination penalty in overcharging me. (Early termination, haha.) They get a free washing machine. They can replace the matress and clean the fucking apartment -- I paid a cleaning fee, and when I moved in I had to clean up some shit the flying monkey didn't. So fuck them. Lesson learned for the owner about the security bolt. Lesson learned when they approach the estate for fees and damages and find how far back in line they are behind other creditors who won't get shit.
It feels so good to not being carrying responsibility any more for those who don't take responsibility for themselves. Just reading books and chilling on SS until...the early termination date.
P.S. Please, no debates about my decisions. They are firm and feel great.
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