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hopelessgirl

hopelessgirl

Mage
Oct 12, 2021
550
So I have been severely suicidal since 2021. I feel like my time is up soon and I can go with a good conscience, because I have tried. I have three weeks of transcranial magnetic stimulation left to do, and if it hasn't worked I will go with hanging.

Anyways. Every day added to my life adds to my motivation to go. Every day is agony and torture. Like a prison.

I'm so suicidal now that I have come to the conclusion that every human being must secretly and deep down wish to die. And that that is the reason we can't get assisted suicide in most countries: because most of us would have wanted to use it and then we would not be able to live as slaves in this awful place.

Bought a pack of beer. Only thing that can make a couple of hours feel alright.

Have a great weekend everyone šŸ˜‚
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

nothing
Nov 28, 2024
439
I come to the same conclusion sometimes. And I start having some delusional grandiose thoughts like what if my suicide triggers a wave of them in people who knew me, and then the people who knew those people... Like if one person admits life isn't worth living and chooses to end it, it will give others license to act on their own secret belief that life isn't worth living. I guess that is our distorted thinking from our mental illnesses or whatever has caused us to be suicidal. Most people like life well enough, some love it, and probably the vast majority have never even thought about whether they like it or not. They just live.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,173
I really understand finding it so torturous to exist, all I want is to cease existing, I just wish to never suffer in this painful and futile existence ever again, I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.
 
webb&flow

webb&flow

dum spiro spero—take it as it comes
Nov 30, 2024
641
first of all, really sorry to hear about your situation. my condolences.

secondly, on the note of "all want to die deep down", I do think that it's more complex than that though; if anything, every human being has a deep down wish to live well—and that the lack of euthanasia in most countries is the result of various complex factors (culture, psychology, politics, etc), rather than any single thing.
 
Michelstaedter

Michelstaedter

Specialist
Feb 25, 2025
319
I'm so jealous, you have the courage to do it, I'm lacking much... I would like to die, I would like to cease to exist, I would like to never wake up, however I don't have the courage to hang myself or get poison or whatever it is that will take me from this world...
 
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58Alice85

58Alice85

Autogynephile
Aug 31, 2025
378
I don't think so, seems like the normies dedicate their life to making everything as miserable as possible.
I am not joking or being ironic, i think most people genuinely have this drive to torment, lie, break down, etc
if i had comprehended this earlier in my life this would have saved me a lot of misery
 
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