Venting My long distance boyfriend is leaving and I feel like I’ll die of a broken heart any second

[jr331199]

My boyfriend visited me for my university spring break to my state. Before he visited I was already low I did nothing but think about suicide. He's leaving today, and I hope absolutely no hope for myself after that. I'm hooked on committing suicide tonight, the pain is so unbearable. I want for him to stay because I feel so bad and it's so selfish but he can't cancel his ticket because he has no real ID but for his drivers license and starting May 7th he can't travel without a "real ID" or passport. He can't renew or make an ID without being in his home state. It's killing me inside, I feel like I want to scream. I'm so lightheaded and weak. I can't do anything but cry, I can't go to class because my dopamine receptors are horrible and I'll do nothing but think about self harm and lay around. I'm sick of my medication, I'm sick of help and hospitals, I'm doing whatever I can to kill myself - I don't care at this point if it's painful. I don't care at this point that my SN hasn't arrived.

 

[Cinno]

You are in a massive wave of grief, loneliness, and heartbreak it feels like it will crush you.
But your brain in crisis is lying to you right now telling you this pain will never end. It's not worth it to end it. Right now your nervous system and brain are begging for safety not for destruction.
You don't want death you want the pain to stop. And there are still ways for that to happen without ending your life.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. But please don't try to commit suicide tonight. I know you're in a lot of emotional pain right now, but this is triggered by your boyfriend leaving and by the fear of how bad you will feel when he does. However, these feelings will probably become less intense soon, and you will feel more able to bear them within a few days. For now, maybe it would best to distract yourself with music or movies or a hobby. I know right now it seems unbearable, but what you are having sounds like a temporary emotional crisis, and you almost certainly won't feel this way forever!!

 

[monetpompo]

I know right now it seems unbearable, but what you are having sounds like a temporary emotional crisis, and you almost certainly won't feel this way forever!!

your reply sounds really supportive and nice. i struggle with the same feelings the poster has where i feel lonely when i'm not with my best friend and feel like a burden at the same time because he can't visit me as often as i'd like him to. i'm laying in bed right now and fixating on how i'm feeling because it feels more comfortable than doing something that would make me happy, but everything just seems to feel painful. i wish i could stop missing him, but i don't have any other friends. ╥﹏╥