Honestly, I don't even know what to say. I don't think I'm capable of coming up with a cohesive essay or dissertation or whatever right now. So I'll just complain about everything here I guess.
God, I wish so, so badly that I could've had a different life. I just got kicked down after everything I did.
My teeth are a little bad because of persistent depressive episodes so I can't date anyone because I feel like this disgusting thing.
I'm fucking twenty years old, it's not too late, objectively speaking, but everything makes it impossible to really "live" anymore. I want to fucking die and I pray that something kills me every day. This life is fucking worthless because nobody ever taught me how to live and it's so fucking hard to survive because I'm a useless mentally impaired shut-in. I can't live alone, and I can't make any decisions for myself, and I can't tolerate being out of this tomb of a house for long and everyone else has moved on, they've all moved on and it's been that way for fucking years, I'm like a fucking ghost or something.
Ever since I was a kid, that's all they've fucking done, neglect me to be happy themselves. I just wanted to be happy, I just wanted to be happy that's it
And my friends, I can't tell them this stuff without them telling me that I can just choose to stop suffering because I can't! I'm sure I could, physically, but my brain is so fucked up I literally can't escape this shit I just want to fucking die and be anywhere else I feel so fucking jealous of anyone who gets to live a life I want a girlfriend I want to have friends I want to live and not just survive but I can't. I literally can't it's mentally impossible to even construct a fantasy about it I can't leave this fucking tomb in my brain everything hurts all the time and I can't stand it
It's so so easy for everyone else. It's so so so easy for my friends and family to abandon me to find love and self-actualization, meanwhile I'm just fucking decaying. I hate my life and I want to die. Why did my mom make me into this
God, I wish so, so badly that I could've had a different life. I just got kicked down after everything I did.
My teeth are a little bad because of persistent depressive episodes so I can't date anyone because I feel like this disgusting thing.
I'm fucking twenty years old, it's not too late, objectively speaking, but everything makes it impossible to really "live" anymore. I want to fucking die and I pray that something kills me every day. This life is fucking worthless because nobody ever taught me how to live and it's so fucking hard to survive because I'm a useless mentally impaired shut-in. I can't live alone, and I can't make any decisions for myself, and I can't tolerate being out of this tomb of a house for long and everyone else has moved on, they've all moved on and it's been that way for fucking years, I'm like a fucking ghost or something.
Ever since I was a kid, that's all they've fucking done, neglect me to be happy themselves. I just wanted to be happy, I just wanted to be happy that's it
And my friends, I can't tell them this stuff without them telling me that I can just choose to stop suffering because I can't! I'm sure I could, physically, but my brain is so fucked up I literally can't escape this shit I just want to fucking die and be anywhere else I feel so fucking jealous of anyone who gets to live a life I want a girlfriend I want to have friends I want to live and not just survive but I can't. I literally can't it's mentally impossible to even construct a fantasy about it I can't leave this fucking tomb in my brain everything hurts all the time and I can't stand it
It's so so easy for everyone else. It's so so so easy for my friends and family to abandon me to find love and self-actualization, meanwhile I'm just fucking decaying. I hate my life and I want to die. Why did my mom make me into this
