my life ended before it started

[here_for_now]

Living with chronic illness is absolute misery. I got it when i was 17 and i didn't even get a chance to live life. Constant fatigue, brain damage, twitching, chronic pain, extreme depression that anti depressants can't touch.

It's been some time now and im starting to realize i won't ever get better. I'm in chronic pain all day and weed doesn't help anymore.

I would use opiates for pain but i can't get a prescription to save my life and i can't afford to pay it out of pocket.

I've found a suicide method and i have less than 2 months to act on it before im forced live with my abusive uncle. I'll start applying to public housing but i doubt i'll get accepted in time.

Everybody tells me i'm lazy and i need to do more, i hate it nobody understands that my body is broken and has permanent damage.

That's why im ctb because my condition will never get better. No one will marry me, i have nothing going for me and im bed rotting all day.

I hate my life i'm done living for other people. Im done living in constant pain, im done being partially disabled and likely to become fully disabled in a few years.

I'm done letting life beat the brakes off me, this is the only way i can take control of my life

 

[wham311]

With ya. Sorry you're going through this, I relate.hope you find peace.

 

[here_for_now]

With ya. Sorry you're going through this, I relate.hope you find peace.

thanks bro :)

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

I hope you find a good way to end this. You are yet another victim of life. But try not to feel resentful. Even if you were healthy, life would still be what it is: an accident. If you have ever reflected on everything that exists, you must have realized that your situation is the result of chance. Just like the rest of us, because there is no guarantee of well-being, happiness, etc. And even when these situations exist, the lack of purpose and meaning will force everyone to create them. And the most foolish and even absurd things are produced in this sense. Obviously, they are not noticed by those who create them. Just remember that the only certainty we have during every second since we were born is death.

 

[here_for_now]

I hope you find a good way to end this. You are yet another victim of life. But try not to feel resentful. Even if you were healthy, life would still be what it is: an accident. If you have ever reflected on everything that exists, you must have realized that your situation is the result of chance. Just like the rest of us, because there is no guarantee of well-being, happiness, etc. And even when these situations exist, the lack of purpose and meaning will force everyone to create them. And the most foolish and even absurd things are produced in this sense. Obviously, they are not noticed by those who create them. Just remember that the only certainty we have during every second since we were born is death.

Very insightful words, thanks for your insight. Yea your right i've figured i got the shit end of the stick when it comes to chance.

I never thought i would lose my health but it's opened my eyes to the nature of life. Nothing is guaranteed, i've dreamed of a grandiose life for years and it's kinda ironic in a cruel way my life is the exact opposite of that.

But at least i can choose if i want to stick around or not, ive been living for someone else for a while but its not enough anymore.

No pep talk will fix my permanent damage. My disease literally kills dopamine cells that i'll never get back. The fuck is the point of anything if my brain feels dead inside through no fault of my own?

 

[zixd]

i relate , few of my same reasons in common , i hope y can find peace at the end

 

[here_for_now]

i relate , few of my same reasons in common , i hope y can find peace at the end

Likewise bro :)

 

[5_5]

you don't deserve this pain. i hope peace finds you soon

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can suffer, I wish you the best, I hope you find peace.

 

[sevennn]

i feel the same. tinnitus at 16. getting worse and worse. just in bed all day watching the TV screen. what method ?