My letters are so long ://

[NellyGoes]

I'm not even close to many people (barely anyone!) bc most of my small family is dead and don't have many friends. But for the few who might care, I want to leave notes as to my why (and why not). And also to "instruct" them what to do with different pieces of my "stuff" (I've got a couple complicated ones).

But holy crap, I'm verbose lol (tbf I also have severe OCD so that's prob part of it). But every person seems to be getting like a 7-page letter so far?! The worst part is I don't even know if they'll care. I mean those few, I know they love me and stuff, but I'm pretty sure in a couple months they'll be fine.

My life and reasons are a bit complicated so I do want to explain. I also don't want anyone (esp main person) to feel guilty cause they prob would. I've always been a wordy person. Long emails are normal for me. But still I'm not sure what to do.

Can anyone relate? Anyone else have insanely long letter (drafts) so far? What do you do?! Keep trying to shorten it? Verbally vomit and just send it like that? I already started 3 drafts to the main person and they're all long!!

 

[Dejected 55]

I tend to write a lot, so I can identify with that... but what saves me here is that I've always believed in telling people I care about how I feel... so all my life I've been open and honest with what my feelings are and if I had problems with them. So, there's just not a lot bottled up inside me that I haven't already told people... and I've already told anyone who might care even a little bit about my plans. Not the exact plans, but more or less that I plan to be gone and roughly when I'm aiming.

So there's not really much left to say. I even specifically made a promise to someone I love that I would never contact her again... so I feel like sending her a letter after I die would be the worst violation of that promise I could make.

 

[k1m]

When I was writing long, long letters I was not ready to die, just expressing things I couldn't say.

Reading "main person" is heartbreaking. There are things it's better to say in person if at all possible. If a friend left me a seven page long suicide note I would never be the same.

 

[NellyGoes]

I tend to write a lot, so I can identify with that... but what saves me here is that I've always believed in telling people I care about how I feel... so all my life I've been open and honest with what my feelings are and if I had problems with them. So, there's just not a lot bottled up inside me that I haven't already told people... and I've already told anyone who might care even a little bit about my plans. Not the exact plans, but more or less that I plan to be gone and roughly when I'm aiming.

So there's not really much left to say. I even specifically made a promise to someone I love that I would never contact her again... so I feel like sending her a letter after I die would be the worst violation of that promise I could make.

I'm glad you got to say most things you had to say while still here. I feel I've done as well, many times, but they've never really heard me. Never really understood just how bad it is for me. Plus, I do wish I could say everything now. Everything. And have my decision simply be accepted. But laws and society make that impossible for most of us unfortunately.

I'm so glad that you know and are respecting your loved one's wish to not get any further communication. I certainly would try to respect that as well if anyone told me.

When I was writing long, long letters I was not ready to die, just expressing things I couldn't say.

Reading "main person" is heartbreaking. There are things it's better to say in person if at all possible. If a friend left me a seven page long suicide note I would never be the same.

Oh by "main person" I only meant my closest relative who will unfortunately have to settle my affairs. We are not that close emotionally. We are closely related and this person will truly be "the last one of the family" which I feel bad for. But other than that, I feel fairly certain that they won't miss me personally terribly.

I'm beyond ready to go. Beyond. I've always been expressing a lot actually. So perhaps my notes are even redundant? Idk.
I guess I'm just a person (again, OCD definitely plays in..) that cares a lot.. for example what happens to some of my stuff. I know it shouldn't matter (and it doesn't on some level), but for example it's important for me to explain that I'd want as much as possible donated (as opposed to creating more trash).

But yeah I wonder if I should shorten all my notes somehow. I don't want them to cause extra trauma. I'd want them to give closure if anything.