DimaD
Member
- Jan 14, 2025
- 33
I wanted to ctb next Friday, so my anitemetics would arrive in time for the SN. Thing is I still live with my parents and everything seemed clear till today, where my father found out, he doesn´t have to work next Friday, so he will be home. I waited months for this day and now within moments it was taken away from me. I can´t seem to win. No matter what I do. I won´t be able to get a chance for months to do it , when they are at work. My full-time vocational college program starts on September 16th. I do not want to go there and continue to live for quite a long time, till I get another chance. I do not have the energy no more.
My only option is Saturday, in 2 days. Where they all will be out of the house for a few hours. I have no other choice no more, than to do it with only the SN and the painkillers. Even though I wanted to go with antiemetics, so it would´ve been easier. My worst nightmare is , that I will be found and saved or that I can not even hold it in and throw most of it up and survive. If I land in the hospital, everything will come to light and then what? I will only eat light food like soup till Saturday, to maybe help the process a bit.
Wish me luck
My only option is Saturday, in 2 days. Where they all will be out of the house for a few hours. I have no other choice no more, than to do it with only the SN and the painkillers. Even though I wanted to go with antiemetics, so it would´ve been easier. My worst nightmare is , that I will be found and saved or that I can not even hold it in and throw most of it up and survive. If I land in the hospital, everything will come to light and then what? I will only eat light food like soup till Saturday, to maybe help the process a bit.
Wish me luck
