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F

feyanon

Member
Apr 15, 2025
9
Hi I'm new, you can call me fey.

I'm 22, I live in the UK. I've come to terms with my perception on reality and don't really want to live in it with all the problems I currently have. Some are self explanatory when you read ahead. Personally I'm not seeing it as a way out, or a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I see it as a way forward, I don't know what's after life but at this point no reality is better than this reality

I've recently stumbled across this forum site and need help. I've attempted to end my life several times since I was 13, I lost some family members that were close and when they crossed that rainbow bridge it just felt like reality was fading around me.

My first few attempts were SH as I bled in my bedroom and/or bathroom. After that it was OD attempts which I was forced to 'plough through the pain' nobody in my family but my sister cared at the time. Ever since I've been going back and forth between the two not really thinking of anything else. I'm afraid of heights, drowning and suffocation so those three have always been off the table.

I'm looking to finally leave this year and found out about SN which I wouldn't mind helping understanding how it works, how effective it is, where to buy it and what to expect if things go wrong.
Hi I'm new, you can call me fey.

I'm 22, I live in the UK. I've come to terms with my perception on reality and don't really want to live in it with all the problems I currently have. Some are self explanatory when you read ahead. Personally I'm not seeing it as a way out, or a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I see it as a way forward, I don't know what's after life but at this point no reality is better than this reality

I've recently stumbled across this forum site and need help. I've attempted to end my life several times since I was 13, I lost some family members that were close and when they crossed that rainbow bridge it just felt like reality was fading around me.

My first few attempts were SH as I bled in my bedroom and/or bathroom. After that it was OD attempts which I was forced to 'plough through the pain' nobody in my family but my sister cared at the time. Ever since I've been going back and forth between the two not really thinking of anything else. I'm afraid of heights, drowning and suffocation so those three have always been off the table.

I'm looking to finally leave this year and found out about SN which I wouldn't mind helping understanding how it works, how effective it is, where to buy it and what to expect if things go wrong.
Just some additional info
I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have tried different management methods for both. I have some undiagnosed physical issues which I haven't been able to get diagnosed appropriately

i'm considered unfit for work by my local government and I'm on low income so some methods have been postponed for a while.

I have a singular friend out of about 8 people I considered friends, that understands my viewpoint on this situation. Besides that I have a sister that cares and not much else, I personally don't like the idea of leaving whilst she's still here but this is my life and I need to take control
 
Last edited:
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F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
2,282
Welcome to SaSu! I am sorry life has brought you here.

A good place to get started for new people are the sticky threads up at the top. Here are two to look at:
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,837
Welcome to SaSu!
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,413
WELCOME, it is so great having you here.

I hope that you find that everyone here are the most kind and caring folks that one could ever wish for.

Well wishes and a huge HOWDY and again WELCOME!

Walter
 
ma0

ma0

How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
624
Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide!

I should probably warn you, you mentioned living in the UK? The British government are on some kind of conquest to block access of this forum to UK users, especially with stuff like Ofcom. If possible, I'd recommend protecting yourself, maybe with like a VPN.

Besides that, please enjoy your stay <3
 
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F

feyanon

Member
Apr 15, 2025
9
Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide!

I should probably warn you, you mentioned living in the UK? The British government are on some kind of conquest to block access of this forum to UK users, especially with stuff like Ofcom. If possible, I'd recommend protecting yourself, maybe with like a VPN.

Besides that, please enjoy your stay <3
I read that earlier, I'll only be using this account while a VPN is active. Thank you for your concern too
 
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Reactions: ma0
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
2,042
Hi I'm new, you can call me fey.

I'm 22, I live in the UK. I've come to terms with my perception on reality and don't really want to live in it with all the problems I currently have. Some are self explanatory when you read ahead. Personally I'm not seeing it as a way out, or a permanent solution for a temporary problem. I see it as a way forward, I don't know what's after life but at this point no reality is better than this reality

I've recently stumbled across this forum site and need help. I've attempted to end my life several times since I was 13, I lost some family members that were close and when they crossed that rainbow bridge it just felt like reality was fading around me.

My first few attempts were SH as I bled in my bedroom and/or bathroom. After that it was OD attempts which I was forced to 'plough through the pain' nobody in my family but my sister cared at the time. Ever since I've been going back and forth between the two not really thinking of anything else. I'm afraid of heights, drowning and suffocation so those three have always been off the table.

I'm looking to finally leave this year and found out about SN which I wouldn't mind helping understanding how it works, how effective it is, where to buy it and what to expect if things go wrong.

Just some additional info
I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have tried different management methods for both. I have some undiagnosed physical issues which I haven't been able to get diagnosed appropriately

i'm considered unfit for work by my local government and I'm on low income so some methods have been postponed for a while.

I have a singular friend out of about 8 people I considered friends, that understands my viewpoint on this situation. Besides that I have a sister that cares and not much else, I personally don't like the idea of leaving whilst she's still here but this is my life and I need to take control
Welcome to SaSu. Here you will find support, if/when you need it, and a lot of information. There is a search feature that you will be able to use after you have made a certain number of posts. (I don't know the exact number, but it's not a lot.)
You should be aware that it is becoming difficult to obtain SN in the UK, Several members have posted recently that their attempts to buy it resulted in a police visit and other unwanted attention from the authorities. So if you do want to order SN, you should do some research beforehand, and exercise considerable caution.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,664
I hope that you find the peace from the suffering you search for, I wish you the best.
 
bankai

bankai

Enlightened
Mar 16, 2025
1,940
Hey fey,welcome to the site!
 
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Reactions: whywere

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