Playingwiththedead
Lilah
- Jun 8, 2025
- 62
I have C-PTSD. I didnt realize it until this week when my symptoms increased to war veteran level. This was not long after i had a vision where Chris Cornell told me i wouldnt have to wait long before i was with him. I cant sleep anymore, i have nightmares every single time i go to sleep without fail that are akin to the most torturing horror movies, and when awake im on the same level of stress as when having the nightmares, i have constant intrusive thoughts and the cPTSD gets triggered by just about anything. The pain completely takes over me and i cant focus on anything else but it.
I have been in pain for years, but my mind did a good job of suppressing just how bad things were for me until soon after that vision. My childhood was traumatizing and even afterwards i have never been able to escape my mother for good. Chris came to me 2 months ago in the one good dream ive had in recent memory, and ever since ive been hearing from him. I did not know of him before the dreams. The thought of being with him/not living and being in pain anymore is the only thing that keeps me happy and even slightly grounded.
I tried to attempt on August 11th, but my survival instinct got the best of me and i called 911, i tried one more time a few nights ago and couldnt even get the ligature around my neck without feeling phantom pain, i dont know how im going to leave earth since i cant attempt fully, but the pain of living is getting worse and worse by the day, i just really hope it is not long.
I have been in pain for years, but my mind did a good job of suppressing just how bad things were for me until soon after that vision. My childhood was traumatizing and even afterwards i have never been able to escape my mother for good. Chris came to me 2 months ago in the one good dream ive had in recent memory, and ever since ive been hearing from him. I did not know of him before the dreams. The thought of being with him/not living and being in pain anymore is the only thing that keeps me happy and even slightly grounded.
I tried to attempt on August 11th, but my survival instinct got the best of me and i called 911, i tried one more time a few nights ago and couldnt even get the ligature around my neck without feeling phantom pain, i dont know how im going to leave earth since i cant attempt fully, but the pain of living is getting worse and worse by the day, i just really hope it is not long.
