xXiloveyouXx
Like I was nothing at all
- Jul 27, 2024
- 235
I almost didn't make this because who cares lolz but I think it will help me organize my thoughts before I go.
I have 3.5g of darknet fent and half a gram of what is most probably a little bit of isotonitazepyne cut with fentanyl. In an hour or two I will dissolve as much fentanyl as can fit in 1ml of water and boof it and then take the rest of the stuff mixed with some juice. I've got a fuck ton of benzos too. I'm honestly still a little bit nervous that this won't be enough to kill me because I know the fent itself is also cut. But I think that I'm just being neurotic, I did extensive research and my guy is the top rated Fent seller on the DNMs. I've also rented a hotel room for two nights so that I won't be discovered until a good 36 hours later or so.
I feel scared but also calm this time. Last time I posted a thread like this, I was in a really dingy hotel in DC the night before I was going to drive to west Virginia to jump off the river gorge bridge they have there, which obviously didn't pan out. This hotel is the cleanest I think I've ever been in, everything smells of bleach and I feel guilty that I'll be the one to soil it with my corpse.
Truth be told I've had the best possible last day on earth. The weather was perfect, just the way I like it, I visited the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen. There were cute bunnies and a bench on a hill in the sun that made me think I must already be in line to get into heaven. Then I went to this water overlook/dock to watch the sunset which was also extremely pretty. I even had a view of NYC in the distance which brought back a lot of memories.
Now I'm here, semi putting off the final act and semi getting things together. I should probably take my ondanestron soon.
I also want to say thank you to everyone who's ever talked to me or provided helpful information, I really couldn't have done it without this site - which also has been a refuge for these last 5 months I've been planning to die. This place is a genuinely fantastic harm reduction resource. There were so many ways I could have tried to die that would have left me crippled or a vegetable or arrested. Let's just hope this method is as peaceful as they say it is.
I have 3.5g of darknet fent and half a gram of what is most probably a little bit of isotonitazepyne cut with fentanyl. In an hour or two I will dissolve as much fentanyl as can fit in 1ml of water and boof it and then take the rest of the stuff mixed with some juice. I've got a fuck ton of benzos too. I'm honestly still a little bit nervous that this won't be enough to kill me because I know the fent itself is also cut. But I think that I'm just being neurotic, I did extensive research and my guy is the top rated Fent seller on the DNMs. I've also rented a hotel room for two nights so that I won't be discovered until a good 36 hours later or so.
I feel scared but also calm this time. Last time I posted a thread like this, I was in a really dingy hotel in DC the night before I was going to drive to west Virginia to jump off the river gorge bridge they have there, which obviously didn't pan out. This hotel is the cleanest I think I've ever been in, everything smells of bleach and I feel guilty that I'll be the one to soil it with my corpse.
Truth be told I've had the best possible last day on earth. The weather was perfect, just the way I like it, I visited the most beautiful gardens I've ever seen. There were cute bunnies and a bench on a hill in the sun that made me think I must already be in line to get into heaven. Then I went to this water overlook/dock to watch the sunset which was also extremely pretty. I even had a view of NYC in the distance which brought back a lot of memories.
Now I'm here, semi putting off the final act and semi getting things together. I should probably take my ondanestron soon.
I also want to say thank you to everyone who's ever talked to me or provided helpful information, I really couldn't have done it without this site - which also has been a refuge for these last 5 months I've been planning to die. This place is a genuinely fantastic harm reduction resource. There were so many ways I could have tried to die that would have left me crippled or a vegetable or arrested. Let's just hope this method is as peaceful as they say it is.
