D

dernieresolution

Member
Mar 19, 2023
27
I've always had difficulties making friends. Loneliness hurts like hell, feel like a non-human. You feel like a ghost not worthy of life.

And yet I have a GF. She's beautiful, and faithful. I'm happy she has friends, but it hurts to know I can't have something like that.

Honestly, sans her, I'd have CTB'd. She knows of my struggles, and still stays. Sometimes I'm scaref of her leaving, but maybe then I could allow myself to CTB.

For now, I suppose I stay for her.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, nightshade00, SoftWorries and 3 others
Worndown

Worndown

Illuminated
Mar 21, 2019
3,083
You are lucky to have someone that devoted. That is less common these days.
 
  • Like
Reactions: m4rius and stage4johnny
cami

cami

the lonely
May 27, 2023
186
im glad you've found someone. just remember that your value is not dependent on your girlfriend. but im happy for you and i wish you too a happy relationship.
 
  • Like
Reactions: feder and AllFoxedOut
Rockman

Rockman

Experienced
Feb 9, 2020
208
If you feel that GF cure you go for it. There were examples of recovery from suicide because of girlfrend.
 
AllFoxedOut

AllFoxedOut

Arcanist
Jun 7, 2023
474
my girlfriend did the same. now she's gone and my whole world has crashed. relapse on self harm and alcohol, ordering SN... practising slip knots.

I'm not saying she will leave but now might be the time to really work on yourself when you're more stable- seeing a therapist, establishing good boundaries and routines.
 
Jamesun

Jamesun

I'm just a person
Feb 23, 2022
118
Friend, I am in the same situation, although he has supported me a lot and does not want me to do it either, I am in a bloody dilemma.I want to die but she is here I don't know what to do right now but I wish you luck with your decision and I hope you can find the best for yourself.
 
  • Love
Reactions: nightshade00
D

dernieresolution

Member
Mar 19, 2023
27
my girlfriend did the same. now she's gone and my whole world has crashed. relapse on self harm and alcohol, ordering SN... practising slip knots.

I'm not saying she will leave but now might be the time to really work on yourself when you're more stable- seeing a therapist, establishing good boundaries and routines.
Maybe i'm making excuses, but I dont think my problem can be fixed, short of a big LSD trip.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: AllFoxedOut
m4rius

m4rius

Student
Dec 23, 2022
110
Incredible. I envy you.

I could not imagine being all depressed and suicidal, yet having a partner support me no matter what. It feels surreal.

You have a gem by your side. It strikes me with great surprise how you have difficulty in making friends. Usually having a girlfriend and friends is something connected. You mostly meet new people through friends.
 
D

dernieresolution

Member
Mar 19, 2023
27
Incredible. I envy you.

I could not imagine being all depressed and suicidal, yet having a partner support me no matter what. It feels surreal.

You have a gem by your side. It strikes me with great surprise how you have difficulty in making friends. Usually having a girlfriend and friends is something connected. You mostly meet new people through friends.
Truth be told I don't know either how it works.

We meet back in college, friends for 2 4 years, but back then presumably I was maybe...healthier. I had TV shows I liked, goals, some modicum of focus.

Now I'm in my masters, and I can't seem to connect with anyone.

My theory is that I became a more boring person over time. I do not know.
 
  • Like
Reactions: m4rius
nightshade00

nightshade00

living just for dying
Jan 24, 2023
86
Friend, I am in the same situation, although he has supported me a lot and does not want me to do it either, I am in a bloody dilemma.I want to die but she is here I don't know what to do right now but I wish you luck with your decision and I hope you can find the best for yourself.
Same here. Her love means so much to me and it helps with the pain, but I still want to die.
 
AllFoxedOut

AllFoxedOut

Arcanist
Jun 7, 2023
474
Maybe i'm making excuses, but I dont think my problem can be fixed, short of a big LSD trip.
I just mean that while you feel like you're being kept from CTB, now might be the time where you're most open to seeking therapies and medications or whatever...

but idk you or your story, I'm just a stranger on the internet. if you don't want to that's your decision
 

Similar threads

Merge
Replies
3
Views
357
Suicide Discussion
ThatStateOfMind
T
N
Replies
0
Views
122
Offtopic
noname223
N
Anhaedra
Replies
12
Views
852
Suicide Discussion
Jack_Nimble
J
MrSuicide
Replies
10
Views
515
Recovery
FeyB
FeyB
Forthy414
Replies
0
Views
108
Suicide Discussion
Forthy414
Forthy414