LadyApple
We just want to go home early.
- Feb 17, 2020
- 117
She's a kind soul. Just had a really difficult life. She was extremely smart-she went to MIT and worked as a software engineer for one of the big tech firms. We've been talking for a year now. We encourage each other during difficult times. I can feel her pain and suffering and it pains me. She got N and she was on the phone with me during her last moments yesterday. She was a bit scared I can tell and I tried my best to calm her down. I can hear her when N went down her throat as she was drinking and talking to me. I asked her how she felt, she bursted into tears and said"finally relieved....I will for sure tell you......" she drank two bottles and a half, that's roughly 250lm which is alot and it sure kicked in fast. she started mumbling and I asked "tell me about what?" " Tell you about the other side" as she continued to cry. I said"ok, it's ok, you are ok now! everything is going to be ok now. Sorry life did this to you but you will be in a better place now....sending you love and lights" it was less than 5 minutes and she was out. I know she didnt suffer at all. As I repeat over and over "you are ok now, sending you love and lights, tell me how the other side went" and her side went silent.
I lit a candle for her, and sprinkled rose pedals for her later the night. My parents went to a buddhist temple and offered her a candle in my name, and prayed for her. Hope that she will never come back to this world again.
I will miss her, and I know she's in a better place now.
Edit:
People have been asking me how the process of taking N went for my friend. Here's what happened:
She had fasted for 24 hours prior, then took meto. I heard the liquid going down her throat as we spoke on the phone, with no hesitation, just like chugging a bottle of water. My heart ached for her there. I knew she was out. I asked her what it tasted like. She said it was just bitter and she chewed a chocolate afterward, so nonchalantly, and made my heart ache more. Chocolate, the last sweet she had during her time here on earth. She jokingly said, "How come I don't feel anything? What if this is fake?" Then very quickly, she's out. No sign of physical suffering.
Kind people on here who cared also asked how I was doing, and here's how I felt:
When we were communicating back and forth while she was alive, when she needed advice for the plan, I felt indifferent and almost wanted this to be over with soon for her, and didn't think I'd be sad at all after she's gone, until she really was gone. It felt numb at first, you know, like when you first got into a car crash, you don't feel the pain just yet; and then, it hits like a tsunami. You start to bleed until you are hollow inside. This profound deepest sadness comes in waves—waves that swallow and suffocate you. The sorrow and pain I've never felt at this dimension—not when I lost my child, not when I lost my love. It felt like part of me was dead. No, not accurate, it felt as though I was dead. We connected, and I resonated with her so much as if we were all one, then if she's dead, I'm dead, right?
It's been 32 hours I couldn't sleep. I then went through her old messages on this forum; I was trying to hold on to the last piece of her. It just hit me that I didn't even know her last name, her birthday, or her favorite food.
I asked where she was now, and the cards were showing me she's with her dog (passed away a few years back), now marching to the light. I asked if she would like to be my spiritual guide from now until I cross; she showed me a dog card, that she will always be my best companion.
She always pined for a loving family of her own, but that never happened for her. I wanted the same thing but we were having the worst luck and encountered the darkest vampires and demons of this planet earth. That's why we resonated so much. She showed me that in my future, she sees these things happening for me and that she will guide me to get there. I guess I will have to stay and try a little longer now, not just for me, but for us.
I hope that one day if I do get to have a beautiful wedding of my own, she will be there too, to witness that I have achieved the dream for both of us.
I know wholeheartedly that no more sufferings for her and she's in a better place now.
I lit a candle for her, and sprinkled rose pedals for her later the night. My parents went to a buddhist temple and offered her a candle in my name, and prayed for her. Hope that she will never come back to this world again.
I will miss her, and I know she's in a better place now.
Edit:
People have been asking me how the process of taking N went for my friend. Here's what happened:
She had fasted for 24 hours prior, then took meto. I heard the liquid going down her throat as we spoke on the phone, with no hesitation, just like chugging a bottle of water. My heart ached for her there. I knew she was out. I asked her what it tasted like. She said it was just bitter and she chewed a chocolate afterward, so nonchalantly, and made my heart ache more. Chocolate, the last sweet she had during her time here on earth. She jokingly said, "How come I don't feel anything? What if this is fake?" Then very quickly, she's out. No sign of physical suffering.
Kind people on here who cared also asked how I was doing, and here's how I felt:
When we were communicating back and forth while she was alive, when she needed advice for the plan, I felt indifferent and almost wanted this to be over with soon for her, and didn't think I'd be sad at all after she's gone, until she really was gone. It felt numb at first, you know, like when you first got into a car crash, you don't feel the pain just yet; and then, it hits like a tsunami. You start to bleed until you are hollow inside. This profound deepest sadness comes in waves—waves that swallow and suffocate you. The sorrow and pain I've never felt at this dimension—not when I lost my child, not when I lost my love. It felt like part of me was dead. No, not accurate, it felt as though I was dead. We connected, and I resonated with her so much as if we were all one, then if she's dead, I'm dead, right?
It's been 32 hours I couldn't sleep. I then went through her old messages on this forum; I was trying to hold on to the last piece of her. It just hit me that I didn't even know her last name, her birthday, or her favorite food.
I asked where she was now, and the cards were showing me she's with her dog (passed away a few years back), now marching to the light. I asked if she would like to be my spiritual guide from now until I cross; she showed me a dog card, that she will always be my best companion.
She always pined for a loving family of her own, but that never happened for her. I wanted the same thing but we were having the worst luck and encountered the darkest vampires and demons of this planet earth. That's why we resonated so much. She showed me that in my future, she sees these things happening for me and that she will guide me to get there. I guess I will have to stay and try a little longer now, not just for me, but for us.
I hope that one day if I do get to have a beautiful wedding of my own, she will be there too, to witness that I have achieved the dream for both of us.
I know wholeheartedly that no more sufferings for her and she's in a better place now.
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And she is very lucky that she did find N
