Venting My dreams were right there, man

[chernobylmosqut]

I really wish I didn't have goals, hopes, and dreams. I wanted with everything I had to get my PhD in Synthetic Biology. I wanted to work for some of the best, most innovative companies, settle down in Poland, maybe find a partner, maybe not. But these are delusions at best. I'm not smart enough for any of this. I don't even deserve to try. I'm an embarrassment to the college and my peers.

I know people say to get a new goal, but this one was my life. It meant the entire world to me. And it just hurts so, so, so much that I'll never be good enough to achieve it. I'm not good enough for myself. I'm not good enough for anyone else. It's about time I lay my life down and stop chasing delusions. I'm already 22, it's over. The only goal I should make for myself is rest.

 

[Bruce]

While I am sorry that you feel that way I have to say that, well, you know, 22 is not really much.

 

[chernobylmosqut]

While I am sorry that you feel that way I have to say that, well, you know, 22 is not really much.

Maybe you're right. It just feels like such a waste. That's almost a third of an average lifespan.

 

[Bruce]

But you did not waste it! Every choice that you took made the person who you are today. Don't forget those choices or their consequences, learn from them and keep moving, at least for now. There may be other things in life. I made a few bad decisions and then a few good ones. Then I realized that I did not have options really. But maybe I'm unlucky, maybe you won't be like me.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My dreams were right there, man

Same here. I was wrestling at a D1 school and everything was set up for a great 5 years of becoming myself, making lifelong friends, and fulfilling my potential.

But I turned weird, quit the sport, and dropped out. That was FIFTEEN years ago. What have I been doing since? How did so much time pass?