Venting my depression isn't warranted

[the_palest_blue]

As I've gotten older my depression has grown as well, yet I don't have a valid reason for feeling this way. I have access to so much, yet I never take any advantage of these privileges and have wasted so many opportunities by doing so. While I am aware that my lifestyle of abusing substances and being nocturnal isn't ok I know that this is just a small small small factor that contributes to my depression. I shouldn't feel this way. I have the best group of friends and the most supportive parents that anyone would kill to have. Although a lot of the time I do feel alienated from said friends and family which just makes me feel ashamed. I shouldn't feel this way about myself, yet I do and sometimes I fucking love it which just makes it even more confusing.

 

[banger12]

I'm so sorry you're feeling so much depression. Unfortunately, that's the thing about depression and depressive disorders. A lot of the time it isn't warranted so to speak, and depression is just as likely to hit people with all of the advantages in life as it is people in shitty situations. But tbh I think the depression itself is a warrant. If you're feeling extremely depressed constantly for no reason despite having so much good in your life, that's a pretty good thing to feel bad about. Who wouldn't feel bad about that in your shoes? Also, the "lack of justification/reason/warrant" so to speak can make it so much worse in it of itself. I can relate to this all from years of personal experience. Stay strong and don't be hard on yourself.