My decision has been made

[ijustwishtodie]

I wish you the best of luck in whatever path you take and I hope that you find peace soon

 

[Macc_Lad_71]

Hello everyone,

I don't know if I'll get replies to this thread, but I just have to talk about it. I've waited long enough to see if my life gets better. And right now it doesn't look like that. A few things have gotten better, but the things that made me feel suicidal haven't gotten better.
Now I have made a decision. Unless a miracle happens, or there is no sign (haha yes, I asked the universe for one earlier) to move on, I will end my life next Friday.
I just have to decide whether to take SN or 1.4 BDO in combination with drowning in a river with a lot of undercurrents (the chances of survival are not very great there)

How I feel about the decision - on the one hand I am totally relieved - on the other hand I also feel a little regret, but I know that the decision - no matter what it turns out to be - is the right one.
I hope that if I choose SN I won't stand out. Unfortunately, the house I live in is a bit noisy and I get along very well with the neighbors.
If I survive SN, I would have 2 days to get fit again without attracting attention - at least I hope so.

I'm glad that this forum has a place where I can talk openly. It feels incredibly good. So far I've been reading along to find out more. Now I realize how good it feels to write something myself.
Thanks for that...

so sorry you feel that way jessi

 

[Jessi76]

Unfortunately, I have to reschedule. Honestly, I want nothing more than to finish it all, but as long as my neighbors don't go away for the weekend, I can forget about going with SN. It's too risky to they hear me and save me.

However, I will do some more research and try to find out how loud the noises really are. I think they are only short - about 10-15 minutes if I have researched correctly. Maybe I can hide them with some louder music, which I run for 1 1/2 hours via a timer ? What do you mean?

Otherwise, I either have to wait until the situation fits, or take my 2nd option if it takes too long. It's so unfair... I have everything I need and yet I can't leave because I just live in the wrong house

 

[death2022]

Unfortunately, I have to reschedule. Honestly, I want nothing more than to finish it all, but as long as my neighbors don't go away for the weekend, I can forget about going with SN. It's too risky to they hear me and save me.

However, I will do some more research and try to find out how loud the noises really are. I think they are only short - about 10-15 minutes if I have researched correctly. Maybe I can hide them with some louder music, which I run for 1 1/2 hours via a timer ? What do you mean?

Otherwise, I either have to wait until the situation fits, or take my 2nd option if it takes too long. It's so unfair... I have everything I need and yet I can't leave because I just live in the wrong house

Actually I am curious how would your neighbor hear you? Do they live in the same house as your? Sorry but I am really confused how they would be able to hear you?

 

[Jessi76]

Actually I am curious how would your neighbor hear you? Do they live in the same house as your? Sorry but I am really confused how they would be able to hear you?

I live in an apartment in a semi-detached house that doesn't have very thick walls. If a neighbor coughs in the room above me, I can hear him. Even if the children are playing next door, I can hear them. Hence my concerns. I'm afraid that they might hear me too.
I have
Fear that if I gasp too loudly or moan loudly during the process, they might hear me and then be alarmed. I also have a very good relationship with my neighbors