My crush thinks I’m scary

[Doctors HATE them]

Someone I've been talking to online that I met on a dating site told me that I'm scary. She said that I'm aggressive when she doesn't respond fast enough. I have a crush on her and I feel terrible. I feel like I'm a bad person. On one hand she's pretty insecure so maybe she's reading what I type in a mean voice. On the other hand I'm worried that I'm clingy to the point that I unintentionally get aggressive for attention. Maybe it's best to stay alone. Maybe it's better to not make people put up with me. I hate myself.
I posted before about how it's unethical for me to be in a relationship. This is the kind of thing I do to people.
She's my only friend so it's not like I can talk to anyone else right now. I emailed my therapist about this, but they're useless and take forever to respond so I'm posting it here.

 

[StringPuppet]

Yeah I'm sorry but you can't just pester her if she doesn't respond whenever you want. You're just going to make her uncomfortable and scare her away. You should be glad that she was up front because now you can change your behavior before she ends up ghosting you.

I hate myself.

Don't. Plenty of people have been in this kind of situation before (myself included). Acknowledging you've made a mistake is the first step to improving.

 

[StringPuppet]

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[Doctors HATE them]

Don't. Plenty of guys have been in this kind of situation before (myself included). Acknowledging you've made a mistake is the first step to improving.

Yeah maybe I'm just overreacting. She's so amazing I don't wanna lose her. I'm seriously gonna modify my behavior however hard it is cause this girl means a lot to me.
As a side note: I'm actually nonbinary lol

 

[StringPuppet]

Yeah maybe I'm just overreacting. She's so amazing I don't wanna lose her. I'm seriously gonna modify my behavior however hard it is cause this girl means a lot to me.

Yeah trust me it's a good thing she was so upfront about it, some people would have just ghosted. Hope all goes well. :)

As a side note: I'm actually nonbinary lol

Sorry, I'll edit my post

 

[Forever Sleep]

I really sympathise with you because I know I can be like this. It's very difficult to not act needy when you feel a sense of desperation. I'm not sure I've ever come across as agressive but I know I'm definitely clingy. I think when you feel alone and unsupported, it can feel so nice when someone offers a hand- that it's sort of difficult not to latch onto them.

I think I was like this with my best friend. It hurt so much when she moved away and started a family. We're barely even friends now to be honest. When she does get in contact now, it can almost be more upsetting to be honest.

I wish I knew what advice to give. I find it pretty difficult to not be all or nothing. I think I've developed a heavy cynicism as a defence now. I don't think you can really trust anyone entirely. Still- I don't think that's a very healthy way to live.

Plus, I also kind of suspect that my nature is too obsessive to have a healthy relationship- I tend to suffer with limerance if I'm not very careful. I guess in some ways though- it's helped me to acknowledge that. Not so much to try and beat it with healthy relationships though- just to try and avoid them all together! I hope you are able to find a better solution.

I hope you can maintain a relationship with her. I'd agree with other posts that it's a good sign that she told you. She obviously respects you and your relationship together enough for that.

It's not an easy thing to accept either and I remember the feelings of shame and self hatred. Still- don't be so hard on yourself. I sort of think we can become like this because we don't have a solid support framework around us before we met them. That's not always our fault. I hope you can find your way through this.

 

[Doctors HATE them]

I opened up about my mental illness to her. Let's see how this goes. I hope she cuts me off cause I'm honestly such a burden.

I got almost complete silence, I basically told her that I'm done with her cause we don't meet each other's needs so yeah. Time to focus back on my studies and hopefully get my hands on some N.