the_path_of_sorrows
Different routes, same destination
- Nov 26, 2023
- 119
It's been quite a long time with chronic tenosynovitis in both wrists and in the knuckles. Of course, blood tests always show that I'm osteoarthritis positive. Always in pain, always hurting not only from the inside out.
I'm a professional pianist, a goddamn piano teacher. Fitness is also my passion. Being constantly in so much pain is destroying my last hopes to survive until the long time ago planned day.
Music makes me feel alive, and now my own body has decided to completely stop enjoying the last years on earth. I don't wanna go too soon, but seems like it has to be this way. Being in even more pain 24/7 seems to be pure torture. I've started to think I'm too weak to exist in so much sorrow;
Music is my last hope and now I must sit here watching myself about to be disabled. I've never thought this could even happen, ever. Pitying myself, grieving over the futuristic plans of the no longer existing future. Everything I've ever wished for, my legacy destroyed, crumbling down oh so swiftly. And existence became worse than a nightmare. Where will it end..
I'm a professional pianist, a goddamn piano teacher. Fitness is also my passion. Being constantly in so much pain is destroying my last hopes to survive until the long time ago planned day.
Music makes me feel alive, and now my own body has decided to completely stop enjoying the last years on earth. I don't wanna go too soon, but seems like it has to be this way. Being in even more pain 24/7 seems to be pure torture. I've started to think I'm too weak to exist in so much sorrow;
Music is my last hope and now I must sit here watching myself about to be disabled. I've never thought this could even happen, ever. Pitying myself, grieving over the futuristic plans of the no longer existing future. Everything I've ever wished for, my legacy destroyed, crumbling down oh so swiftly. And existence became worse than a nightmare. Where will it end..
