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I never thought it was a fraud. I remember you called someone after taking the SN so it makes sense that you got medical assistance. Your description of the attempt seemed very real. My heart goes out to you after what you must have been through this past year.
I want to say I'm very sorry if I came off as rude. I for one didn't say anything about you faking your attempt but I was just confused by what you went through cause it seemed unique from what I've read and then what you said about the hormones. You probably won't take my apology I understand but again I'm sorry. Take care if you can.
as can be seen at the first part of this thread, i followed the plan listed, i had no access to an antiemetic and to ask my doctor for one would have been suspicious as my family knew i was suicidal. i didn't have a good scale so i used measuring spoons and i didn't have the emotional energy to leave me house to bother to buy the materials to test the purity or anything like that. those were probably my downfall. i eventually fell unconscious after texting my boyfriend and telling him i was dying, i didn't specify what i had done but he frantically called my dad since i lived at home who eventually woke up and apparently found me not breathing. i have no way of knowing how long this was after i became unconscious. nevertheless, he performed CPR and called 911. i also made the mistake of leaving the bottle of SN laying out so the EMS knew what i had taken and were able to give me methalyne blue (idk how to spell it). i was intubated and kept on medical observation but was up and walking within 12 hours. i was admitted to a psych ward and they decided i needed to go to a long term residential facility. so off i went for 9 months
my memory has been fogged as it was so long ago and i had so many traumatic things happen right after, but from what i remember it was somewhat painful, mostly just nausea. the thing that freaked me out and got me to text my boyfriend was panic. i still wanted to die but i think it was my subconscious mind going into SI fight or flight. i'm not sure why i tried to save myself bc i distinctly remember still really wanting to die
probably a like 6/10 not completely sure. it wasn't excruciating, it definitely would be manageable
it was hell. that's actually why i ended up getting better for awhile because i wanted out and i never wanted to deal with a place like that ever again. i ended up restrained for no reason, i was verbally abused on the daily, i was manipulated and i witnessed physical and emotional abuse happen to all of the other residents as well. it was understaffed and very poorly regulated. that's why i'm holding out on another attempt until there is no possibility of failure because i can't go through that again
Hi. Sorry for the question so long a after this, but I didn't see this in the thread (do you call it that? I'm sorry, it's been like 30 years since I was on a forum) you'd not had access to other things. Did you take a pain reliever and it was still that bad, or did you not take anything?
Hi. Sorry to bother after so long, but isn't N $10,000+? That would take me a decade to save for. Holy crap
Hi. Sorry to bother after so long, but isn't N $10,000+? That would take me a decade to save for. Holy crap
Thank you. I thought I'd seen in the pph that I read from like a November 2021 drop said 10k. I must be misremembering
I must truly be misremembering. Or maybe it was another currency. Thanks for the correction. Makes much more available
